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August 2007 ~ October 2007
1980 ~ Director: Lewis Teague
Lions Gate
 Everyone knows the urban legend of someone's father flushing a pet alligator down the toilet for any variety of reasons. From that little fable, one does have to wonder if an alligator can actually survive deep in the sewers. So thanks to director Lewis Teague and LionsGate, those who haven't seen the 1980 cult classic Alligator, you are about to find out.
In 1968, young Marissa Kendall owns an alligator in which her father flushes down the toilet. Mainly because he is an ass. Fast forward 12 years. A man is disposed of a giant alligator after throwing away dead puppies from an animal testing clinic in the city sewers. Hard-edged cop David Madison (Robert Forster) finds that the alligator that has been feeding on the bodies of the tested animals thereby mutating to over 50ft. long! With the help of a scientist, the now grown up Marissa Kendall (Robin Riker) and a 'great white hunter' Colonel Brock (Henry Silva), how will the alligator be destroyed? Can it be destroyed?
Teague takes an urban legend and stretches it to rather outrageous lengths. But the fun here is how the actors deal with the giant alligator, especially since the scenes of the actors interacting with said monster ranges from laughable to horrific. The acting is really nothing to be too excited about. Somewhat cardboard cutout characters, though they do try to add some wry humor when discussing Madison's male pattern baldness. When utilizing a real life/real size alligator, Teague offers up some damn decent miniatures. Probably the best your likely to find this side of a Godzilla film. The gore is a little on the low side considering when this film came out (1980) and the content. And the alligator itself, when not moving around too much, is a nice effect. Mostly you'll see its mouth opening and closing, but none of this is supposed to be taken too seriously.
The DVD presentation is 1.78:1 widescreen and 5.1 Dolby Digital. Extras don't have as much bite. They include a commentary and interview.
Alligator is a fun movie. It certainly feels dated as far as the FX goes, and the acting is passable. Just don't expect Gojira. Not very scary, either. If you know these things going in, you'll be fine.
B -Rich Caron
2007 ~ Director: Stephan Durham
ThinkFilm
 While thinking of how to write the review for Bloodlines, I tried to figure out how I can accomplish this without making any references to Deliverance. Ahhhhh shit! Guess I just did! Let's just get to the review of Bloodlines directed Stephan Durham and released by ThinkFilm.
Girlie-tee toting Amber Strickland (Grace Johnson) is heading for college as her jeep breaks down in the middle of nowhere. After a sudden attack, she wakes up in a room with a couple other girls who are forced by lead, sister fucking hillbilly Billy Bob (Jason Padgett) to fight to the death for a bunch of other redneck hillbillies as entertainment. The loser obviously dies, while the winner get to be fucked by Billy Bob; thereby keeping the 'bloodlines' going. When word that she didn't reach her destination, her older brothers Brody (Douglas Tait) and Bear (Dorian Kingi) go to find out why. Do they make it in time to help little sis out?
If I might a bit harsh, this film sucks yak ass. The lighting is beyond terrible as you can see the frame light flicker during some scenes, but some of the characters don't have any other reason to be around other than to show off some make up FX; which aren't all that great to begin with. Billy Bob is barely the threat the film makes him out to be. Plus, this film has got to rank in the top 5 for being the most vicious to women. Every, and I do mean every, woman gets slapped, kicked, punched, fucked, and smacked. One really wonders why Johnson took on this movie. Especially when she could've had the lead daughter in The Sopranos!!!!! The director seemed to haven't the slightest clue on how to tell a coherent story. Another thing to add about the characterization, Bear not talking is just annoying as you know he has something to say. And are all hillbillies suggested to yell and scream while chasing someone in the woods? There is just no redeeming value to the film at all.
I hated this film. Everything about it sucks. The story, blood, characters and direction. Its even technically discouraging. Stay away from Bloodlines. Please, just stay away!!!
F -Rich Caron
1986 ~ Director: Wes Craven
Warner Brothers
Once upon a time, not so long ago, there was a man named Wes Craven. He was a director of some of the most extreme horror films ever made - Last House on the Left, The Hills Have Eyes, and A Nightmare on Elm Street. But at some point between 1984 and 1986, someone got into ol Wes' brain to make a horror film that the kiddies would like. That would be the film I am about to review...Deadly Friend distributed by Warner Bros..
Teen prodigy Paul Conway (Matthew Laborteaux) is the new kid in small town America. His mother, himself, and his creation B.B. B.B. just happens to be a robot. Every now and then B.B. has his little quirks (possibly Paul still has to work the kinks out). Living next door is the beautiful, busty, blonde bombshell (80's style) Samantha Pringle (Kristy Swanson). He also meets newly befriended Tom (Michael Sharritt) upon his arrival. The trio have fun with B.B., even to the point of making life miserable for the mean ole across the street neighbor Elvira (Anne Ramsey). When Sam dies in a family beatdown and B.B. succumbs to Elvira's rampage, Paul thinks of a way to bring back Sam using the microchip that allowed his robot to exist.
Craven, the man responsible for some stomach churning events back in the late 70's, has got absolutely nothing here. The acting is poor, the story is far beyond what Wes wants us to believe, and the gore blows chunks. Everyone talks about the "Basketball scene", but don't see it being all that great. The results are ridiculous and the aftermath is too funny to be taken seriously. If Wes wanted us to be scared, he shouldn't be listening to big Hollywood types telling him the kids like, because the only thing scary in Deadly Friend was just how cute that sickeningly lovable that damn robot is. And while Swanson is like a living angel, it'll take more than just her to turn this pathetic mess around. And am I the only one who thinks she is even sexier dead than alive?
The DVD presentation is 1.85:1 widescreen. The only extra is a trailer. Would it kill WB to add something to the disc? I guess it would.
In all honesty, this is for Craven completists only. Oh how far the mighty have fallen! Craven really hasn't gotten back to his former self since 1984. Real horror fans know that. If you're into a horror film with minimal thrills and cutesy characters, then Deadly Friend is for you. Other than that, do yourself a favor and get something else.
D -Rich Caron
2007 ~ Director: Eric Stanze
Wicked Pixel Cinema/Cinema Epoch
I know many of you have never heard of Eric Stanze, and had no particular awareness that Deadwood Park was even coming out. That’s a damn shame… I’ve followed this indy director’s career. He began with the amateurish 1994 slasher Savage Harvest which did begin to show his originality. From there he moved to his masterwork, the surreal and stunning Ice From The Sun, which in many ways works as a modern Hellraiser. Then Stanze threw his hat into the I Spit On Your Grave/August Underground ring with the difficult but well executed Scrapbook. After this there was a truly forgettable exploitation entry, I Spit On Your Corpse, I Piss On Your Grave. 2003’s surreal (but more linear than Ice From The Sun) China White Serpentine was a definite return to form. I truly admire Stanze’s work. He creates horror films that do take in some great elements of the old guard but imbues his work with a frenetic originality soaked in a punk and industrial ethic. So it has been with extreme interest I have awaited Deadwood Park.
Deadwood Park is not as surreal as some of his prior work, as far as plot goes, it is his closest effort to a “regular movie.” It follows a man who has returned to his childhood home, which is the home of a horrific mystery of the child murderer who killed many, including our heroine’s own brother. The madman was never caught. Throughout the movie our hero (William Clifton of Ice From The Sun and Savage Harvest) along with a local girl (Lindsey Luscri of The Severed Head Network 2) try to solve the mystery. It is evident in Deadwood Park that Stanze has progressed greatly in terms of editing in a manner that creates suspense which is palpable throughout the entire film. This is a somewhat slower, and more reflective film, so do not come into Deadwood Park expecting buckets of blood and lots of sex. Stanze has managed to make this adjustment without throwing out the unique quirks that make this a Stanze picture. I have to admit I was underwhelmed with the acting, it is of typical no budget adequacy. The story itself does lack the unique nature of prior efforts, and for this Deadwood Park is not as riveting as prior Stanze outings. However, I feel this should prove to those who might one day put money behind a Stanze production that he can make a film that is a little less rough without sacrificing originality or suspense.
B -Brant Johnson
1992 ~ Director: Manny Coto
Warner Brothers
Okay I admit it. I never seen Dr. Giggles until this review. The title did sound stupid and the commercials were hokey as hell. After a while, I simply put the film in the back of my brain and its been there ever since.....until now. But alas, here is Dr. Giggles on DVD by Warner Bros and directed by Manny Coto. But was it worth waiting 15 years?
Dr. Evan Rendell (Larry Drake) is a wannabe doctor of medicine who has the short end of the stick when his mother dies while still a child. It is from there (well actually, he decides to wait about 35 years) that Rendell takes his revenge on the entire town. No simple uses of killing here though -Stomach pumps, gadgets, and scalpels are his instruments of choice.
That's about as simplistic as a storyline can get. For real. That's about it. Well, that and all of his slick little one-liners before and after his killings. Trying to give him that 'Kruegeresque" mentality using every clichéd doctor quote known to man just does not stop!!!!!!!! Please! Enough is enough with the medical puns! Do we need that many? Whatever scares that could've been found in this dreck is instantly destroyed by Drake's meager attempt to be funny. Even the kill scenes are far too unreal to be taken seriously. How a doctor can somehow dodge an entire town's police force using his little black bag can only come from the mind of a man who probably think the land of Oz is a real place.
The DVD presentation is 1.85:1 widescreen and comes with a trailer. If we are to be submitted to this kind of torture, the least we should get is a 'making of'. Fifteen years really isn't that long ago people! Surely the WB must have something in their vaults!
Being a horror fan, I cannot believe this film sold tickets, let alone was allowed to get a theatrical release. Seriously, I felt like a real asshole watching it. I felt embarrassed that I fought for our horror rights when pieces of crap like this come out. I don't think I can rebound after this one. There's a twitching in my arm and my balls hurt. Maybe a little Friday the 13th will take care of it. I'll take two and call you in the morning.
F -Rich Caron
Shout Factory
 The Mistress of the Dark, Elvira (wickedly and enamorously portrayed by the beautiful Cassandra Peterson) hosted a nationally syndicated late night horror program entitled Elvira's Movie Macabre from 1981-1986. Thefilms presented were somewhat campy to terrifying to hypnotic to clever. And they all benefit before and after the commercial breaks with Elvira's enormous talents. And her humor isn't so bad either. She never treats any of the films with any kind of seriousness. She plays campy films and keeps them as such with her playful wit. Whether it would be using props or talking to someone offstage (or even talking to the characters in the films; quickly forgiving the horrendous editing job). She pulls off the humor with a sexiness that is timeless. And while the picture quality is of a rather shabby "Public Access" characteristic tone, it just adds to the mirthfulness of just how they deal with what's being presented.
Now with the films, they are of a hit or miss variety, but you'll want to see them all simply for Elvira's gigantic attributes. The most recent 2 DVD sets include:
Set One:
Gamera: Super Monster
They Came from Beyond Space |
Set Two:
Blue Sunshine
Monstroid |
Set Three:
Maneater of Hydra
The House that Screamed |
Collectors however, be warned. These films are not of the greatest quality. In fact, they are pretty piss poor. Some are full frame, cut, and Pan and Scan. However you will find some that are widescreen. But who knows about the aspect ratios? And the sharpness and contrast in colors are extremely soft. But these cuts are directly from their original programming, so some leeway should be considered. If you really want better quality for these films, look somewhere else. But good luck finding Elvira on them! Now if seeing and hearing Elvira isn't your thing all the time, they do give you the option to excise her altogether and just watch the film. But it just isn't the same! Elvira must be seen and heard to really enjoy the show that kept up many a teenage boy during the early to mid 80's.
Like I said, the films are hit or miss so use your judgment wisely. But if you're a fan of The Mistress, you can always do alot worse. And they can be bought either separately or in a 3 DVD set, so that gives you a chance to select which films you like. I'm happy to see her classic shows are on DVD. I feel like I'm 12 years old again! And if you don't mind, I'm gonna go feel like I'm 12 years old again.....for about 5 minutes!
B -Rich Caron
2006 ~ Director: Jake West
Image Entertainment
In 1988, newbie director Peter Jackson created a small budgeted film that would launch his horror film career called Bad Taste. It is film about aliens from another planet coming to earth to harvest humans as food for their fast food businesses. It was loaded with gore, goo, and full of genuine laughs. Now a cult hit around the world, Bad Taste took 4 years to film and showed that anything is possible; and made Peter Jackson a brave, balls out director the horror world has been craving. Original and outrageous, the film is one of the best of the 1980's. Fast forward to 2006, where director Jake West (who has a rather long resume of horror writing, directing, and editing credits to his name) utilizes the alien life form to invade earthlings once again with guts and guffaws with his film Evil Aliens released by Image Entertainment.
A Sexy, busty host of a small television show called Weird Worlde, Michelle Fox (the lovely Emily Booth) is in need of a great story or else she goes off the air. While following a lead on a possible rape victim from an alien, her and her troop of an actor, actress, a nerdy alien expert, and television crew in a small Welsh farmland, little do they know that the area has been hit by actual UFO activity. Happening upon the alien spacecraft, as well as a few dead cattle, all hell breaks loose as the members of the crew are dispatched one by bloody one.
I'll just say it right now; Evil Aliens is the most refreshing horror film of the year. Its very, very gory and very, very funny. If you don't laugh, there is something seriously wrong with you. The gore is amazing, though not at Dead Alive status. West has shown that he is one director to look out for, so keep an eye on him. If he continues like this, then we should all bow to his knees and thank him for being here. The humor is black and standard at the same time and the pacing is great. The shit hits the fan big time here folks. I wouldn't lie to you. You will notice plenty of homage's to other films or TV shows, but don't let that deter you for these are all firmly tongue in cheek. Much like Bad Taste, some of the dialogue might get you a little lost due to the English and Welsh dialect, but you'll know what's going on as the story is pretty simple to follow. Its also very sexy in a "hippie trippie" sort of way. Emily Booth is just so sexy, it makes you wonder why Sci-Fi's Ghost Hunters don't do the same for their programming. But everyone kicks ass, takes names, and is never apologetic. That's how it should be. Balls to the walls awesomeness! Now the only thing that I can say I wasn't too hot on was the CGI. It ranks alongside your average Sci-Fi network only film.
The DVD presentation is 1.78:1 widescreen with 5.1 Dolby Digital Surround Sound. As for extras, there are deleted, extended and unused scenes, bloopers and outtakes, tour of FX department, and a trailer. The colors are crisp and the sound is incredible. Just wish there was a commentary. Oh well...not everything can be perfect
Evil Aliens may seem like a copy of Bad Taste. But since when is that a bad thing? Only when its not done right. This is not only done right, it might even be better. I say check it out. Check it out NOW! Keep em coming Mr. West. I'll be waiting!!!
A+ -Rich Caron
1981 ~ Director: Ken Weiderhorn
Warner Brothers
 Some movies just surprise the hell outta you. Not in terms of a scare factor, but in terms of something that makes a average, or even bad film, into something that can open your eyes in disbelief. Director Ken Weiderhorn and his crew were able to do just that with this 1981 shocker Eyes of a Stranger released by Warner Brothers.
Beautiful news reporter Jane Harris (Lauren Tewes) and younger sister Tracy (Jennifer Jason Leigh) live together in a high rise building where Jane discovers that her neighbor across the street is the serial killer/rapist that has been causing panic in the city. While dealing with Tracy, who is deaf, dumb, and blind (can she play mean pinball, too?) from an attack by an abductor when she was younger, she must also convince her lawyer boyfriend that he is the culprit. Some think she is getting in over her head. Will Jane make them believe her?
Tewes and Leigh are exceptionally good in their respective roles....though there are some cheesiness seeping through from other characters. The suspense mounts very well and the sense of dread is definitely there. I didn't mention what makes this film stand out among other films of its type. The makeup FX, look good. Maybe even a little too good. Why? Because Tom Savini did them. However, they aren't Savini good. FX done in a film like this is extremely rare. They are executed in the usual Savini fashion - stabbings and beheadings are abound and quite splashy here and there. Director Weiderhorn and Savini lets some of their earlier horror work be shown when Shock Waves is displayed on a TV and a poster of Dawn of the Dead is seen. Iif it helps, you do get to see Leigh topless, though you have to wait till the final reel to see it.
The DVD is presented in 1.85:1 widescreen and the colors are sharp and vivid. Caution: NO EXTRAS!!!
Eyes of a Stranger is an alright film. Than again, its also nothing spectacular. A film like this doesn't have the kind of killings we are accustomed to. Its refreshing, but also a little out of place. Better than you'd think, but then again.....
C- -Rich Caron
1986 ~ Director: Stuart Gordon
MGM
Stuart Gordon. That crazy bastard gave us, in 1985, one of the goriest, wettest, most splatterific film of the decade. That film, of course, is Re-Animator. A story about a certain Dr. Herbert West creating a serum that brings the dead back to life, but with dire consequences that were to follow. An awesome adaptation from the maniacal mind of H.P. Lovecraft. One year later, Gordon would take the reins of another Lovecraftian classic H.P. Lovecraft's From Beyond to bring us the screen adaptation of From Beyond, released by MGM.
Dr. Pretorius (Ted Sorel) and his assistant Crawford Tillinghast (Jeffery Combs) have created a machine called "The Resonator". A machine that stimulates the pineal gland in the brain to open doors to another dimension. Along comes Dr. Katherine McMichaels (the luscious Barbara Crampton) to help Crawford get over what had happened to his former employer. Problem is that entering this alternate universe causes creatures from there to attack and mutilate their hosts....even if it can be the possible cure for schizophrenia. With the use of Bubba (genre vet Ken Foree) making sure that things go as planned, can Dr. McMichael and Tillinghast Find out what happened to Dr. Pretorius?
Stuart Gordon goes back to the well with bringing back 4 (!) Re-Animator veterans in front of the screen. And it works again. And adding Ken Foree to the mix only makes it better. Combs' performance is so riveting in Re-Animator, it therefore makes the transition of "mad scientist" to "assistant" pretty difficult. Not saying that his performance here isn't good. Its quite good. But his take on Herbert West is so astonishingly unbelievable, that no matter how well he does in other films, they will always be second rate. That even goes for his turn as Milton Dammers in The Frighteners. The cast is filled out nicely and the performances are equally praiseworthy. The gore and special FX are numbing considering what's going down. It might come across as a bit too much actually. But Gordon knows how to handle these things with great attentiveness, and what looks better than Barbara Crampton is a leather S&M outfit? Not much, I can tell you! Considering that the pre-credit sequence is basically the whole short story by Lovecraft, Gordon is a fine job filling out the rest.
The DVD presentation is at 1.85:1 widescreen with Dolby Digital Sound. Extras include a commentary, featurettes, interviews, gallery, and storyboards. The colors are extremely sharp and vibrant. Definitely Gordon was aware of the use of neon colors, much like the reagent in Re-Animator.
One little caveat....this isn't Re-Animator. It never will be. Period. But this little film does contain the same amount of gore, outrageousness, humor, and sexuality as its predecessor. Stuart Gordon should be the only one to adapt Lovecraft stories to the screen. If you haven't seen this yet, do so at your earliest convenience. You'll be happy you did.
A -Rich Caron
1973 ~ Director: Kevin Connor
Warner Brothers
I love anthologies. Who can resist a short story of horror? Much like a snack, they are great for when you got a little time to spare and you're in the mood for something with a little thrill kick to it. Most people think Creepshow when anthologies are mentioned. As good as that movie may be, Amicus Pictures (those fine blokes over in England) back in the 70's were in charge of the whole anthology genre. Much like Tales from the Crypt and The Vault of Horror (both of which are reviewed here as well), From Beyond the Grave utilizes the anthology concept. Directed by Kevin Connor and distributed by Warner Brothers in 1973, is From Beyond the Grave just as good?
An antique shop proprietor (the legendary Peter Cushing) has many an unusual item in his place. One by one, a customer comes in to try and screw with the old man - Either through bargaining, cheating or outright stealing his goods. However, these dirty deeds do come with a price that they know they cannot afford. A mirror, medal, snuff box, and door all contain certain secrets that the proprietor doesn't mention to the would be thieves.
The four stories involved range from mediocre to odd to incomprehensible. None of them really have the terrifying feeling that Tales had. There is, howver, a certain likeability to From Beyond the Grave. Its ambitious and fun, though a little hokey at times. Amicus knew that this wasn't going to be another Tales, so director Connor threw in a little extra blood for good measure. Although I must warn you, because it kinda shocked me myself. In the third story (An Act of Kindness), Donald Pleasance's real life daughter Angela co-stars. She is the splitting image of father Donald - She has his forehead and nose, basically his entire face. Eerie in one respect, yet quite beautiful in another. You draw your own conclusion.
The DVD presentation is 1.85:1 widescreen with a trailer as the only extra.
If you're going to have an anthology party for Halloween, Amicus does an admirable job. But if you want to save the best for last, make that Tales from the Crypt. Make From Beyond the Grave first on your list. Its a good film. Don't get me wrong....just be happy you did.
B- -Rich Caron
2006 ~ Director: Anders Banke
Genius Entertainment
As far as story goes Frostbitten is truly underwhelming. Basically you have a girl and her mum moving to a town inhabited by vampires… You can guess the rest. I will admit Anders Banke dealt with this plot in a well edited, fairly suspenseful manor, buoyed by a well fitting score from Anthony Lledo. I will even acknowledge that the performances from the two leads, Grete Havnesköld, as the daughter, and Petra Nielsen, as the mother, are quite convincing, and one cannot help but hold some concern for their characters. However, as the horror elements of the story go, it’s just another modern vampire tale.
What does work very well for Frostbitten, I fear will be lost on the great majority of viewers. It is a Swedish motion picture which captures a great deal of Sweden in it’s 96 minutes. The atmosphere of a Swedish winter, the overall mentality of the place, and so many quirks of the land are evident. The movie is even in Swedish, rather than being dubbed. For me this is fantastic, I am of Swedish ancestry, have studied the language, and have spent substantial time in Sweden. I realize this will not do much for most of our readers, unfortunately. What I can say for Frostbitten is that it is an adequate vampire tale, but worth a bit more if you take an interest in Sweden and it’s culture, which comes through surprisingly well in Frostbitten.
C+ -Brant Johnson
2007 ~ Director: David Benullo
Genius Entertainment
When town histories come up in discussion, every now and then someone will bring up an old fable about some mysterious doings of a rather supernatural aspect. When the time comes, the center of that fable will rear its head towards the townspeople once again. That is exactly what happens in director David Benullo's Hallowed Ground; released by Genius Entertainment.
Late 19th century, the townspeople of Hope kill a preacher who collects human sacrifices with a foretelling of his impending return. Enter Liz Chambers (Jaimie Alexander), a young woman driving to get away from her saddened past. Car problems ensue in the bizarre town of Hope where her and a reporter named Sarah (Hudson Leick) go to a cornfield to create a scarecrow for her article about the town's history and simply for sensationalism. Suddenly, the scarecrow comes alive and wanting Liz to become the mother of the rebirth of the unholy preacher. Soon, people who Liz thought she could trust can't anymore and they will make sure the prophecy is fulfilled.
Benullo, who also takes a writing credit here, takes on a piece of work that has been done before many times. You can almost name the films that this borrows from - Children of the Corn, The Wicker Man, Aliens and The Evil Dead can be noticed not just in scenes, but also in terms of style and camerawork. Alexander, much like in her work in Rest Stop, is very physical and takes to running and being roughly handled like a pro. Her acting ability is much better here as well. Its just a shame to see what had some fairly decent potential go down the toilet after the opening credits. Questions remained unanswered, with the one most prominent being how the scarecrow came to life to begin with. Though there are some scenes which make you jump a little, there's really nothing that sticks to your ribs.
The DVD presentation is 1.85:1 widescreen with Dolby Digital 5.1 Sound. The only extra contained within is a trailer gallery.
Hallowed Ground, despite the fairly promising (yet short) beginning, falls flat. There just isn't enough here to get all excited about. With all the films this film borrows from, I'm surprised this didn't turn out better. I guess its true that they say that having too much of something is a bad thing.
C+ -Rich Caron
2007 ~ Director: Rob Zombie
MGM/Dimension
Halloween surprised me. Going in, I feared that the prequel element of this re-imagining would at best be ridiculous plop, at worst actually managing to violate the enigmatic terror of Carpenter’s original Michael Myers. I also expected the down and dirty slasher second act would be Rob Zombie’s forte. I was wrong on both counts.
The first act, as we learn about how Michael went wrong is very strong. Zombie utilizes great performances, trailer trash characters, and, of course, music to create a disturbing look into the life and mind of a truly disturbed little boy. Daeg Faerch (previously in genre features Coming To Town and Freakshow) portrays a ten year old Michael Myers locked into a terrible home life of neglect and abuse, as well as enduring a very rough time at school. Daeg portrays Michael in a way which is truly frightening… He creates such empathy in his performance one can easily see how he snapped, and how one might have even done the same. Sheri Moon (House Of 1000 Corpses and The Devils Rejects) conveys a heartbreaking performance as a heartbroken mother, particularly in the scenes which she visits Michael in the mental hospital. Michael Forsythe (The Devils Rejects) also adds to the early tension of the film as he adeptly brings to life Michael’s sleazy, useless, abusive trailer trash stepfather, Ronnie White, a character whose death at Michael’s hands feels only just. These great performances are mixed with some great classic rock and some truly visceral death scenes creating an opening to the film that is tense, sad, and shocking. Unfortunately after Michael finds his way back to Haddonfield things fall apart…
No one will claim Jamie Lee Curtis’ pals in the original Halloween were Oscar caliber, but P.J. Soles and Nancy Kyes sure were a great deal more skilled than Danielle Harris (yep, the one who played the little girl in all those Halloween sequels), Kristina Klebe, or even Ms. Strode herself, Scout Taylor-Compton (Wicked Little Things). Quite simply this trio cannot act their way out of a cardboard box, this eliminates all of the empathy and concern for the characters that existed in the original. This is specifically most true in the case of Laurie Strode, as her strength of will was even more important to the success of the original than Michael’s ability to scare your pants off. Taylor just does not possess the acting chops to pull of the role. Also I am sad to say that Malcom McDowell (Cat People and Evilenko) dials in a very flat performance as Dr. Loomis. Tyler Mane (The Devil’s Rejects) as Michael Myers himself adequate but nothing particularly more creepy or menacing than Michael was in any of the last few sequels.
In addition to rotten acting the second half of the film contains hyper speed senseless editing. There is also the unforgivable element of one of Laurie’s bimbo friends wearing a Slayer t-shirt, even though they didn’t get together until four years after the movie was set. Quite simply the second half of Halloween is filled with mistakes, namely the casting, and devoid of any tension.
I do recommend at least seeing this once, at least half way through, just don’t expect Halloween to measure up to the original, or Rob Zombie’s prior work.
C+ -Brant Johnson
1981 ~ Director: Oliver Stone
Warner Brothers
Director Oliver Stone's second effort (first being 1974's Seizure) into the horror realm is The Hand. Made in 1981 and released by Warner Brothers, the film's plot centers around comic book artist Jonathan Lansdale (Michael Caine) who is the victim of a car accident where his right hand is severed. With the hand nowhere to be found at the accident scene and coping with a new prosthetic, he tries to live his life through a rocky marriage to his wife Anne (Andrea Marcovicci). But somehow, the hand is capable of killing off those who try to betray him. Is it really happening or is it all in his mind?
The first thing you'll think of in the film's crazier moments is the severed hand in Evil Dead II as that film's more amazing moments are greatly inspired by The Hand - scurrying fingers grabbing throats and bashing brains in. With that said, its hard to make this seem scary. All it did was make me laugh, though I'm sure it did frighten a few back in the day. The acting is very good and Caine stands out as the disheveled Lansdale. The FX had mechanical hands a plenty, though methinks that a great deal of the budget could've been saved if they went the route of Evil Dead II. Either they didn't have the knowledge or the capabilities of doing so, but many of the effects could've and look like they should've been done with a hand prosthetic. The ending kinda makes you left hanging for a sequel; though the film left on its own is just fine.
The DVD presentation is 1:85.1 widescreen and extras include a commentary by Stone and trailer. There is some off color pixilation in the blacker scenes, but nothing serious.
Stone is a classic director who isn't afraid to tackle the more serious subject matter of today's society. Life must've been great back in 1981 to him, because he directed a film about a severed hand! Like I said, its hard to take this seriously, but it is sort of a fun movie despite its little setbacks. Recommended, but take the plot with a grain of salt.
B- -Rich Caron
1987 ~ Director: Tim Ritter
Image Entertainment
It must first be noted that Killing Spree is a Tim Ritter film. What’s that? You don’t know who Tim Ritter is? Well, in that case, consider how much you value your innocence before venturing further! Tim Ritter is a low budget shock maestro who got his start with the early direct-to-video boom of the 1980’s. Think of him as an even lower budget Herschell Gordon Lewis… but kinkier. His credits include the outrageous Creep, Wicked Games , and Truth or Dare, all zero budget gore classics in their own right.
Killing Spree has all the essentials of a Tim Ritter classic: stilted dialogue, poor performances, lots of blood, and a whole of lot of anger and sex floating in the atmosphere. The plot revolves around a jealous rageaholic named Tom Russo. Tom suspects his wife of fooling around a lot, so he does the only logical thing. He kills every man she encounters, and then finds his just desserts for his actions. Tom Russo is played by Asbestos Felt (Trutch or Dare and Creep), a truly strange actor who does not by any means have a mastery over his dialogue but manages to exude some strange essence of constipation and extreme rage upon any character he plays. Ritter does also manage to add some elements of very warped humour through almost every scene of the film, keeping it from just coming off as sick. The gore is amateurish but fun for anyone who likes films on the order of Cannibal Campout and Cideo Violence .
Fans of Ritter, or DTV horror in general should love the film and feast heartily upon the extras which include two commentary tracks, a documentary and a couple of trailers.
B -Brant Johnson
2006 ~ Director: Adrian O'Connell
Image Entertainment
Ideas of placing the hip-hop culture with the horror genre has been one that has been around for a time now though the combination hasn't been to popular. From Snoop Dogg's Bones and most recently with his film Hood of Horror, they are refreshing takes on familiar territory. Can Nailed directed by Adrian O'Connell and released by Image Entertainment say the same thing?
Gangster hoodlums Keller (Charles Porter) and Scott (Sam Sarpong) are on the hostile end of a drug deal gone horribly wrong thanks in part to two undercover 5-0's. The troubled twosome take shelter in an old abandoned building, after Scott gets shot in the shoulder by a cop until the heat blows over. Keller and Scott figure its empty until they hear a muffled yell from the upstairs only to find a man whose face is horrifically bandaged and a 'carer' who simply goes by the name of Adam (Wilson Jermaine Heredia). As Keller forces Adam to care for Scott wounded shoulder, bizarre things begin to overcome the hoodies. As the day progresses, they see and hear things. Snakes and dollhouses (among other things) that make things a little to real for comfort where they soon fall into a window of a seemingly endless hell. But why is Adam there? And who exactly is the bandaged man?
O'Connell takes on familiar premises from a few other horror films, and manages to add them up in a way that can make sense. But at the same time, it doesn't. So much so that you're not sure what to pay attention to. But the payoff is a nice, twisted treat. If you happen to notice that it seems like a long episode of Tales from the Crypt, you wouldn't be alone.
The performances by the 3 leads are nothing short of outstanding and major league believable. Level headed Keller trying to keep things in check, worrisome Scott becomes paranoid, and Adam is just plain creepy in a Hannibal Lecter sort of way. These three personalities lend Nailed an unusually distinct flavor; given its setting. The lighting and shadows in the early afternoon big city gives almost a hopelessness about it.
Shot in urban locations of Los Angeles, this film has a rough, gritty feel. Yet amazingly, it also has a certain high production value to it despite its low budget. And that is what gives the film some real credibility.
The film is presented in a 1.78:1 ratio with Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround Sound. Extras include commentary, behind the scenes, trailers, and photo galleries. Running at a crisp 84 minutes, you get your money's worth out of Nailed. This movie makes you want to like it, and it succeeds.
A- -Rich Caron
1978 ~ Director: John Carpenter
Warner Brothers
 The 'made for TV' film, I have always found, to be rather too subtle to really be considered horror, particularly from the 1970's. The commercials ruin any sense of dread that might be felt. Just when the fear reaches its epic climax....BOOM! There's an advertisement for feminine itch. Who cares about that? And now, with the first time release of director John Carpenter's long lost film Someone's Watching Me on DVD, we can watch it without worrying about a moronic Jiffy Pop commercial, all thanks to Warner Brothers.
Young, ambitious Leigh Michaels (Lauren Hutton) is a fresh face in big city Los Angeles. Moving into her new high rise apartment where the view is amazing, someone else finds the view of her to be just as such. Someone is sending her presents and making anonymous phone calls, watching every move she makes. The person knows where she works and when she leaves her apartment making her fear for her life. With the help of co-worker Sophie (Adrienne Barbeau), new boyfriend Paul (David Birney), and the Inspector Gary Hunt (Charles Cyphers), can they catch the one that terrorizes young Leigh?
Filmed originally for theatrical release in 1978 (not long after Halloween), the studios found it better to be a 'made for TV' movie because it was seemed to be rather timid. While the film is outrageously dated, what we have here is an effective little thriller that deserves to be seen. Immediately, Carpenter's homage to Alfred Hitchcock's Rear Window comes to mind and does an admirable job creating an atmosphere that is familiar to the Hitchcock classic. Despite the ambience of the open air in the high rise, the sense of claustrophobia remains. Hutton as Michaels is fine, if not a bit annoying in the beginning, almost to the point that the dynamics between her happiness and fearfulness is greatly exaggerated. Carpenter regulars Barbeau and Cyphers are very good in their roles as well.
The DVD presentation is widescreen with the only extra being a decent retrospect from John Carpenter. No trailer exists despite saying there is one on the case. The colors are soft and natural with no grain.
This was Carpenter's first film after Halloween. The film hasn't really aged well. This was made in 1978 and every second has you remembering that. The styles are a vivid reminder how loud the colors were back then. But don't let that deter you. This is one of Carpenter's unsung classics, finally on DVD for all to see.
B -Rich Caron
1968 ~ Director: Jack Hill
Dark Sky
I don't have an entrance paragraph for this particular movie because there really isn't anything you could try to connect it to. That just goes to show how bizarre and odd this Jack Hill directed film is. Some people call it Cannibal Orgy. Others call it The Maddest Story Ever Told. But its probably best known simply as Spider Baby, and is distributed by Dark Sky.
Two teenage girls, Virginia (Jill Banner) and Elizabeth Merrye (Beverly Washburn) live in an old mansion with their guardian Bruno (Lon Chaney Jr.) and brother Ralph (Sid Haig). When distant family relatives try to stick their fingers in the Merrye fortune, a wild night of violence and revenge takes place. The girls have an affinity to spiders and usually use them as a metaphor for how they do their killing and basically how they live their lives.
A true oddity in every sense of the word. Its basically a horror/comedy, but the lighting used in the film to cast shadows and profiles makes this a real creepfest. Hill obviously knew how to use a camera when supplying suspense in the basement scenes. The actors play off each other nicely, despite not having much experience as a whole. Haig is a real treat to watch as this is a rare time, if not the only time, where his actions propel him through the film-for he's doesn't say a single word. The film was made in 1964, but legal issues prevented it release to the theaters until 1968.
The DVD presentation 1.66:1 anamorphic widescreen. Extras include commentary (Haig and Hill), 3 featurettes, still gallery, extended and alternate scenes.
My advice? Take the old Image release and trade it in. You won't get much for it, but this is the definitive release of Spider Baby. Own it, watch it, and then watch it again. You'll need to to take it all in. And you won't be disappointed if you are into something quirky and just plain weird.
A- -Rich Caron
2006 ~ Director: Various
Warner Home Video
This television drama is about two brothers, Sam (series star jared Padalecki) and Dean (series star Jensen Ackles), who were raised by their father, John (Jeffrey Dean Morgan - Grey's Anatomy), to hunt and kill all things that go "bump in the night" after his wife, Mary, was murdered by something supernaturally evil when the boys were young. Sam, however, wanted nothing to do with this violent and dangerous life, and he left it behind, until the day Dean appeared on his doorstep with troubling news. Their father had gone missing on a "hunting trip." Sam and Dean have spent the last year cruising the highways of the United States in their 1967 Chevy Impala, searching for their lost father and encountering creatures that most people believe exist only in folklore, superstition and nightmares.
Meanwhile, Sam starts to develop frightening abilities that include death visions, visions of people dying before it actually happens. These visions are somehow connected to the demon who murdered his mother and its mysterious plans that seem to be all about Sam. The second season picks up right after they get into a car crash with one of the demons that almost kills Dean. When their father dies striking a deal to save Dean with the very same devil that had killed his wife, the brothers, now alone and without their mentor, are determined to finish the crusade their father started. But disturbing revelations about Sam's part in the demon's apocalyptic plans are presented when John's dying last words to Dean are revealed.
Throughout the 2nd season they battle various supernatural threats, evil ghost-like clowns, vampires, etc. as well as continuing the main plot to catch the demon that killed their mother and now captured their father. The acting is good and the special effects are also top notch but the stories within the stories are sometimes a little light. There is audio Commentary, deleted scenes, as are typically released with season boxed sets. Whether a fan of the series or not, this set is worth checking out.
B -Matt Smith
1972/73 ~ Director: Freddie Francis/Roy Ward Baker
20th Century Fox
 William Gaines be praised! The man who brought E.C. Comics to the world of comic books got film adaptations of his 2 best selling comics Tales from the Crypt and The Vault of Horror. Released in 1972/73 respectively, Amicus Pictures brought forth 2 anthologies that helped visualize Gaines' intent even further. Breaking ground in spectacular horror with severed tongue firmly planted in cheek humor. The 2 DVD set is distributed by 20th Century Fox's Midnight Movies catalogue.
So let's check out Tales from the Crypt, directed by Freddie Francis.
The story (or stories in this case) deal with five people who are taking a guided tour through ancient catacombs when they happen to fall behind after being warned not to. They take a wrong turn and find themselves sealed in a room where a mysterious monk ( Sir Ralph Richardson) suddenly appears. His business is to tell them what is in store for them if they follow through with their futuristic dirty deeds.
Their stories are as follows:
And All Through the House- On Christmas Eve night, Joanna Clayton (Joan Collins) murders her husband Richard (Martin Boddey) for the life insurance policy with a fire poker to the skull. All the while a murderous psychopath donning a Santa Claus costume stalks the house while their daughter Carol (Chloe Franks) awaits the 'real' Santa's arrival.
Reflection of Death- Carl Maitland (Ian Hendry) is a cheating husband who drives off with his mistress Susan Blake (Angie Grant). Tired from the long drive, Carl allows Susan to drive where they end up in a freakish car accident. Carl is the only one around to look for help all the while the people he runs into is horrified by his appearance.
Poetic Justice- Arthur Grimsdyke (Peter Cushing) is a widow who fills his lonely time by keeping stray dogs as pets and playing with the neighborhood children. His neighbors are not to fond of him due to his slovenly appearance; worried that he would depreciate the value of their homes. The townspeople decide to drive him out of town by making his life a living hell....until revenge settles in to Grimsdyke's old bones!
Wish You Were Here- Ralph Jason (Richard Greene) is a ruthless businessman whose attorney Charles Gregory (Roy Dotrice) informs him with all the risks he has taken, should file for bankruptcy. After informing his wife Enid (Barbara Murray), they talk about one of their possessions- a statue they bought while on vacation. Its says that they have three wishes, however these wishes come with dire circumstances!
Blind Alleys- George Carter (Patrick Magee) is a man living out the rest of his life in a home for the blind with other patients. The establishment has a new owner, Major William Rogers (Nigel Patrick), who has more endearing emotions for his dog Shane than to the patients. Death, rations cut, fuel cut, and blankets cut (saves those for himself and Shane) mark the revenge by the blind against a man with no shame at all.
Let's get serious folks. This film friggin rocks! Every story is told to a fully revengeful conclusion. And while some might see these as somewhat predictable (especially if you've read the comics), it still makes for a fully entertaining 83 minutes. The best story is Blind Alleys. You will find so much reason to hate Major Rogers, you'd want to kill him yourself. Grimsdyke is such a sorry character, that Cushing's performance will tug at your heartstrings. Add in a volcanic performance by Patrick Magee tops off this impressive outing. Director Francis knew exactly what he was doing.
The DVD is presented in 1.85:1 widescreen and sadly that's all there is. Midnight Movies is not particularly known for their extras-so that knocks it down a few points. But the colors are very sharp with no grain to speak of. And for those who want to know, this is the fully uncut version.
Three cheers for Midnight Movies for finally adding this title to its library! They don't make em like this anymore!
>>
Director Roy Ward Baker continued the E.C. style going with the second anthology called The Vault of Horror released in 1973.
Five gentle men each piling into an elevator find the doors opening to a floor that they weren't expecting. A table with five chairs for each one of them. Suddenly, they discuss their nightmares...........
Midnight Mess- Harold (Daniel Massey) is a brother who needs to find his long lost sister Donna (Anna Massey). After arriving in a peculiar town, whose restaurants and shops close at 7pm, he finds his sister...but not without finding out a secret about her!
The Neat Job- Elder man Arthur (Terry-Thomas) marries his friends daughter-the youthful Eleanor (Glynis Johns). But Arthur is such a neat freak, it drives Eleanor to madness. Its only a question of how far she will go!
This Trick'll Kill You- Magician Sebastian (Curd Jurgens) and his wife/partner Inez (Dawn Addams) are on vacation in India and come across the daughter of a fakir who was proven to be a phony. Yet her magic is very real as Sebastian sees her with a rope climbing out of a basket with the use of a horn. Tempted to be the best magician, Sebastian and Inez concoct a plan to get her secret once and for all.
Bargain in Death- Maitland (Michael Craig) conceives a plan to collect life insurance from his phony death with the help of his doctor friend Alex (Edward Judd) with medication. However, there are a pair of medical students in need of a fresh corpse.........
Drawn and Quartered- Moore (Tom Baker) is a struggling artist who, by the word of his friend, is completely unaware that his works of art have been considered priceless (since he lives in Jamaica). Feeling he has been lied to by the critics and art collectors, Moore looks to voodoo to right the wrongs that have been levied against him. But at what price?
Director Roy Ward Baker is a bit more of a softer touch with his material. But that's not to say he doesn't offer up some good scares. Just that it seems he didn't take it as seriously as his predecessor. Tom Baker (Whose best work is still the undeniable Dr. Who) puts in the best performance. And I just had a hard time knowing that the mother in Mary Poppins got involved with this. Just a weird dynamic, ya know?
The DVD is shown in 1.85:1 widescreen with the only extra being a trailer.
If you loved Tales from the Crypt, you shouldn't be too disappointed with this. It's no Tales, but it is a nice companion piece nonetheless.
A (Tales...)
B- (Vault...) -Rich Caron
1972 ~ Director: William Girdler
True Gore
William Girdler’s 3 On A Meathook is a true oddity. From the man who helmed Grizzly, The Manitou, and Day Of The Animals we have another 1970’s entry in the Ed Gein inspired lunatic splatter genre. This particular tale revolves around an apparently homicidal young man (James Pickett of Asylum Of Satan), and his father (Charles Kissinger of The Manitou and Grizzly, and almost any other William Girdler film). Both possess acting skills that at best can be called “cornball.” The two live out on a secluded farm, and the father uses tales of the boy’s murderous rampages against women (always forgotten by the boy due to the trauma) and the specter of his dead mother to keep the boy under his thumb.
This particular offers up plenty of dimwitted bimbos to the slaughter, but nothing to worthy of mention there in acting or in nudity. 3 On A Meathook pretty much totally fails to offer up significant suspense at any point but it does offer up a somewhat disturbing, but simultaneously comical, picture of a truly dysfunctional family unit. Due to the overall backwoods, cornball execution of the movie it can best be described as a combination of Hee Haw and Deranged. 3 On A Meathook may be only for fans of 70’s rural horror, but for those who enjoy the genre, such as I, this is a thoroughly entertaining diversion.
B -Brant Johnson
2007 ~ Director: Nimród Antal
Sony Pictures
Blame Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho. Way back in the day in 1960, he single handedly changed the American way of thinking when it comes to spending the night in an off road motel. The place is usually infested with bugs bigger than your feet and stains on the bedsheets that only who-knows-what is on them. For years, Psycho set the mark for motel horror and still does. But Vacancy, by Hungarian director Nimrod Antal, while doesn't beat out Hitchcock's swansong, gives it a damn good try.
Meet the Fox's. David (Luke Wilson) and Amy (Kate Beckinsale) are an arguing couple coming home from a long night out. Whilst lost by David's refusal to stay on the Interstate, their BMW starts to conk out on them. Tired and annoyed with each other, they stay at a nearby motel run by weird-ass night manager Mason (the vastly underappreciated David Whaley). As the Fox's try to get relaxed, David plays a blank labeled tape in the VCR (one of the "perks" of their Honeymoon Suite). What's played is a snuff video....that is shot in the very room they occupy! As they are chased around by 2 men in silver masks, will the Fox's make it out alive or become the next volume in the motel's in-room entertainment?
Antal makes the best of an extremely short running time at 85 minutes. The film is well shot, briskly and evenly paced, and at times quite frantic. Owen Wilson is strong and believable as David. Who knew the man had it in him? Best known for his roles in comedy, this was certainly a pleasant experience. Beckinsale, best known for her roles as Selene in the vapid Underworld films, also does an admirable job. Maybe she finally realized that the other "horror" films she has done is total shit for teens. And Frank Whaley as Mason does a bang up job as the whacked out nutjob night manager. But let's not forget the outstanding opening and closing credits done is a Saul Bass style (showing even more of the influence of Psycho) and Paul Haslinger's riveting score. Now as for FX, don't expect too much. Very little is shown in the way of blood. But a grand amount of scare pieces are sure to find their way up your spine.
The DVD presentation is Anamorphic Widescreen at 2.40:1 and 1.33:1 Full Frame (honestly, you know which to pick), behind the scenes, deleted scenes, and the extended snuff films which you get to watch all the videos shot for someone's sick viewing pleasure. One thing this DVD really could use is an audio commentary. The colors are beautifully shot and no grain to be found at all.
Vacancy in itself is simply an outstanding film with plenty of scares to keep you on the edge of your seat. The DVD sort of holds back with no commentary in a film that would've been great to hear. Its scary, claustrophobic, and just a plain ol good time. As of right now, Vacancy stands as the 2007 horror film of the year.
A -Rich Caron
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