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FEBRUARY 2009 ~ APRIL 2009
1996 ~ Director: Trey Parker & Matt Stone
Writers, directors, and actors Trey Parker and Matt Stone, over the past decade, have given the viewing public one of the most outrageous and daring television programs to come out in a long ass time. Of course, that show is Comedy Central's amazing South Park. Unless you've lived under a rock, you should know the program. Before the success of South Park, Parker and Stone unleashed a film in 1996 that was to be the stepping stone to much larger things. Not only South Park, but Orgazmo, Team America: World Police, and Baseketball. A small student film that would catch the eye of Troma president Lloyd Kaufman, and overlooked by every studio prior. That student film is the raucous and sublimely directed Cannibal: The Musical.
Told in flashback, the setting is the mid 19th century Utah. Alfred Packer (Trey Parker- going by the name of Juan Schwartz) is voted to lead a party of 5 others to Breckinridge, Colorado in search of gold.... Horny George Noon (Dian Bachar), priest-to-be Bell (Ian Hardin), positive thinker Swan (Jon Hegel), butcher Miller (Jason McHugh), and moron extraordinaire Humphries (Matt Stone). Along the way, they meet up with a trio of trappers, a Cyclops, and a tribe of Japanese Indians. Journalist Polly Pry (Toddy Walters) drags the story out of Packer as he sits in jail waiting for execution. They also sing and dance all through the trip. However, a lack of food and Packer's inability to lead them to the gold, a member decides to take it upon himself to take the reins, and a cannibal feast begins!
Cannibal: The Musical is, without question, Parker and Stone's best film. Superbly shot and edited and evenly funny throughout. The laughs come fast so you might need time to rewind because you'll be laughing during the next joke at the last joke. Gore? Though it doesn't come until the second half, it is great! The white snow of the Rockies in contrast with blood really stands out and looking rather garish. but in a good way. the acting is far better than you would expect (particularly good is Robert Muratore as Frenchy Cabazon, who, I hate to say, is his only acting credit). But what stands this out among everything else is the music. Funny with many a double entendre, you'll be singing with long after the film is over. And if you watch the closing credits of South Park, you'll notice the jingle is part of one of the songs here. Acute listeners will notice pre-South Park Eric Cartman's voice in the film for a very brief period.
This 2 DVD reissued set is full frame with stereo sound. Extras include new interviews, commentaries, deleted scenes, on stage production, and much more. And look for those Easter eggs!
So have a Shpadoinkly time with this film! Toe tappingly funny and bloody (though not one bit scary), Cannibal: The Musical is an amazing look at the early creations of a pair of the funniest men on TV. Highly recommended.
A -Rabid Rich
1990 ~ Director: Lucio Fulci
The Fulci filmography is finally getting the treatment it so richly deserves, no matter the film. And Grindhouse has given us Fulci fanatics one of his more misunderstood films the five star treatment in Cat in the Brain. Probably Lucio's most personal film and most direct towards the Maestro's life.
Dr. Lucio Fulci (Lucio Fulci-after who was to play his character never showed up for the shoot) is a horror film director with a severe problem. He is beginning to cross the line between fantasy and reality and believes he is seeing people dying in gruesome ways. Trying to explain it to his psychiatrist, Professor Schwarz (David Thompson), doesn't help matters either. Yet, people around him are actually dying and he cannot stop the violence.
Watching The Maestro onscreen for the entire length of the film is kinda weird. Not exactly the greatest actor in his films, yet does well despite the circumstances. The gore is extremely over the top and his bloodiest film ever, no doubt about it. A little less in the maggot department, but still holds a certain grisliness to it. Fulci also used amounts of his old films to be his characters works, so that saved on some of the cost to complete the film.
This 2 DVD set is widescreen 1:66.1. Extras are bountiful with incredible interviews, Fulci's appearance at the 1996 Fangoria's Weekend of Horrors, stills, trailers and plenty of other goodies!
I can see how this can be perceived as a film that makes no sense. But watch it, and you'll see that this is basically the biopic of the Godfather of Gore. he had a very troubled life and I'm sure its certainly not that far from Cat in the Brain.
B+ -Rabid Rich
Director: Various
Being born in 1971, I just missed out on appreciating the beauty that is the 42nd St. movie going phenomenon. All kinds of films ranging from horror to sci-fi to T&A comedies played at these stinkhouses (called that due to their odor of piss, sweat, and stale cigarette butts) for the better part of the 70's into the mid 80's, wants us real film fans to bring these places back. In some areas, they are; last hearing about a theater in Atlanta playing "grindhouse" cinema. And while the feeling of 42nd St. may never return, Synapse does its absolute best to try and relive that sensation with 42nd St. Forever Volume 4.
Now the films themselves are probably not the best you are likely to find, no matter the genre. But the trailers give an almost "need to see" because, well.....dammit, they just don't make trailers like this anymore! Hell, even try to find the slightest bit of nudity in a trailer in this PC world today. Good luck, Bucko! You look at a trailer for a film like that overhyped sack of shit Independence Day, then look at a trailer like Can I Do It... Till I Need Glasses, and you tell me which sounds like the better film. But all genres are covered here for over 100 minutes of viewing pleasure. And while I assume that the trailers contained are taken from the best stock available, even the ones in the worst condition just ups the ante on the quality. Grindhouse films should look like shit, and so should the trailers. So, the worse they look, the better the overall "feel" of the grindhouse experience.
The DVD is presented in 1.78:1, though some trailers may differ. Extras include a commentary and TV spots.
42nd St. Forever Volume 4 is a must have to relive the whole "grindhouse" experience. Synapse has been successful with their last 4 releases (one was a trailer comp of porn), and this is no different. Don't worry about the diminishing of horror trailers, just watch and enjoy. And if you really want to relive the experience ten-fold, just piss on the floor and wait about 3 hours.
A+ -Rabid Rich
1980 ~ Director: Sean S. Cunningham
For the younger generation, its hard to imagine a day when the Friday the 13th series didn't exist. One of, if not the, most popular horror film series of the 1980's, Paramount hit a goldmine when audiences found themselves cheering for the monster, rather than the victim. Can't say I blame 'em. Jason Voorhees became a major iconic figure depicting the masked maniac killing off horny teens. But in 1980, there was no hockey masked killer. Just his mother. I know I'm not giving anything away by saying that either cuz EVERYONE has seen Friday the 13th. Or have you? Paramount has finally released the uncut version of Friday on DVD. Have we finally hit the apex?
Camp Crystal Lake is reopening courtesy of Steve Christie (Peter Brouwer) despite the constant warnings of the townsfolk, about a killing that happened there many years ago. Thereby claiming the camp is "jinxed". Seven counselors helping Steve reopen the camp start disappearing in violent ways.
Now we all know the film, hence the short description above. But now we are talking about the uncut version of Friday the 13th. How does it stack up? Well, not much was added to it. If you have the Friday the 13th boxset, you'd see more deleted footage in there than you would in the reissued DVD. The film doesn't look any better than the previous releases. But the main attraction is the deleted footage. That's what people want to see, and sadly, we don't really get anything noteworthy. Extra gore, but nothing special.
The DVD is in 2.35:1 widescreen with Dolby Digital sound. Extras include a commentary, featurettes, and a trailer. The commentary is a pretty good listen as director Cunningham dishes the dirt.
So is Friday the 13th worthy of another purchase? Sure. If not for the commentary, this would be just another chair leg leveler. But there's more footage out there. Wait for that instead.
B- -Rabid Rich
1981 ~ Director: Steve Miner
Who knew? I mean really. Who knew? Who knew that in the year 2009, we would still be talking about the Friday the 13th series. Especially way back in 1981, when Friday the 13th Part 2 hit the theaters less than a year after its predecessor. But director Steve Miner helms the first of many sequels with Friday 2, courtesy of Paramount.
Five years after the massacre at Camp Crystal Lake, an adjacent camp opens. Though the have heard the legend of what happened at Crystal Lake, they doubt its authenticity. Ginny (Amy Steel) and Paul (John Furey) lead the young counselors as they prepare for the summer; completely unaware of what is to come.
This is the first film to have a full formed Jason Voorhees as a killer. Maybe sans hockey mask (and wearing a potato sack) but he was just beginning to rev up the ol' machete. Problem is that the MPAA wised up to the film industry, and cut out all the gore scenes that were to be in the film. But don't expect them here. Same film with the same aspect ratio.
The DVD is in 2.35:1 widescreen with Dolby Digital sound. Extras include featurettes and a trailer.
Mostly the same shit, different DVD. The extras are interesting for a rental, but not a purchase. And its not like you can't get this info from other areas (books, magazines etc.).
C -Rabid Rich
1982 ~ Director: Steve Miner
Friday the 13th is what got me into horror. Not so much the film, but the trailer. To make a long story short, it changed my life. But Friday the 13th Part 3 was the first Friday film I saw, and needless to say, it left an indelible mark on my psyche. Masked man running around killing people was my idea of entertainment. Though it wasn't until just recently that Friday 3 finally got released on DVD, in the much needed to be seen 3-D, no less! Never getting the chance to see it in 3-D before, this is one more thing to knock of the list of horror areas I needed to cover. And finally, Paramount studios listened to their fans and gave us Friday the 13th Part 3 3-D, directed by Steve Miner.
It's summertime and Chris (the luscious Dana Kimmel), Debbie (the equally luscious Tracie Savage), and a whole bunch of other kids head out to a vacation spot looking for some fun in the sun. Unfortunately, Jason Voorhees (the disfigured maniac who is responsible for multiple murders and played by Richard Brooker) is back and ready to take them all out, one by bloody one!
Now the main point of this film is the 3-D. So how is it? Well, it's not terrible, but so much more could've been done to make the 3-D work. How? I don't know. I'm not a 3-D film technician. Just a humble reviewer. But I suppose if we wanted this in 3-D this badly, something is better than nothing. Overall, the film hasn't really aged well. Still has that blur to it when the camera moves. At least we still got the 2-D version for those of us that are used to that. Acting is stiff, but the gore is pretty slick from time to time.
The film is presented in 2.35:1 widescreen along with stereo sound. The DVD does come with one pair of 3-D glasses, but would it have killed Paramount to add the commentary from the Friday boxset onto this edition? Guess so.
Is Friday the 13th Part 3 3-D getting? No. Worth renting? Yes. Just to see what we have all been missing over the years. And while this is one of the better Friday films (not saying much), so much more could've been done to make this a landmark DVD in the states.
C+ -Rabid Rich
2008 ~ Director: Daniel Farrands
Since I am in a complete Friday state of mind with this update, I figured to go full bore with Anchor Bay's release of His Name Was Jason. After all, it was this film series that opened the 1980's that got me where I am now. But where Paramount dropped the ball, Anchor Bay picks it up and runs its ass off with this retrospect on Friday the 13th and its main protagonist, Jason Voorhees.
FX legend Tom Savini hosts this 90 minute look back at the series which gave the world our favorite hockey masked slasher. HNWJ treats us fans to interviews from all films related to the Friday the 13th series, including the television shows. Behind-the-scenes looking back is informative, fun, and most importantly, interesting. Keeping the interviews interlocked, just the way Anchor Bay knows how, translates to a smooth flow of information. Hearing from the likes of Debisue Voorhees, Shavar Ross, Vicki Marie Taylor, Jensen Daggett, David Kagen, and Ted White are truly a joy to listen to. Particularly White, who basically divorced himself from ever having anything to do with the series, let alone playing Voorhees in Friday IV. Downsides to this 2 DVD set is the cheesiness of Savini's narration with an actress running from an unseen, though obvious, killer; trying to mimic some of the more sensational killings from the series. The lighting is also something to be considered. Mostly shown against a black drop, the lighting could've been so much better. Much better. Many was a time I had to squint to even see who was onscreen.
The 2 DVD set is in 1.78:1 widescreen with Dolby Digital Sound. Extras include extended interviews, stories, Camp Crystal Lake Survival Guide, and many more goodies.
His Name Was Jason is the extra that should've been in Paramount's boxset. But it wasn't. And it's their loss. Anchor Bay released a fun, quirky documentary on the man who owns Camp Crystal Lake. And the pool of blood that runs in it.
A- -Rabid Rich
2009 ~ Director: Bradford May
Directed by Bradford May. Staring Casper Van Dien, Anthony Wong and Bellamy Young.
A man is killed by a band of ninja assassins for secrets he has with some advanced super weapon... and surprise, surprise that secret is on a microchip in his daughter's abdomen...only she doesn't even know it yet. It's not a great martial arts movie if you put it up next to titles like Hero, Fearless, Flashpoint or The Protector but it was fairly entertaining.
A cop and a ninja work to protect the girl and the secret from this band of evil ninjas... and they seem to kill everyone else in their path. In actuality this movie made me think of all the ninja movies in the 80's i.e. American Ninja and so-on. I wasn't blown away but i was fairly entertained. I'm sure in 2 years from not when it's on USA network and I have nothing to do I'd watch it again.
C- -Eric Guntor
1981 ~ Director: George Mihalka
As I write this review, Valentine's Day has come and gone, and I couldn't care less. Personally, I hate Valentine's Day. A 'holiday' created by the greeting card companies to cipher hard earned money from people. But I digress. Valentine's Day has given us horror fans something to look forward to. And that, my love lorned friends, is George Mihalka's My Bloody Valentine. But this is a Special Edition! What did Paramount give us? Let's see!
On Valentine's Day, twenty years have passed since killer Harry Warden in a small, coal mining town in Canada. Now ready to revive the Valentine's Day dance, Axel Palmer (Neil Affleck) and TJ (Paul Kelman) fight over the love of Sarah (Lori Hallier) after TJ returns home from an unsuccessful life out west. But now that the dance is back, so have the killings. Has Harry Warden returned?
My Bloody Valentine is one of the better B grade slasher films from the 80's. Decent pacing and acting makes this one to look for. But this is a Special Edition. So what makes it special? How does UNCUT sound to ya? Yeah, they finally released MBV with all the scenes intact and loaded with gore! You can watch this film with or without this footage. So if you feel a little nostalgic for the way you were raised on MBV, all is not lost.
The DVD is in 1.78:1 widescreen and Dolby Digital sound. Extras include all that awesome footage! There are also featurettes and an interactive history of the slasher film.
My Bloody Valentine is now back in the consciousness of the American public. Not only because of this release, but also the release of a remake done completely in 3-D. I've seen it. Nothing to write home about. But the original is still a blast to watch! Have fun!
A- -Rabid Rich
1974 ~ Director: Vidal Raski
Exploitation of dwarfs, or "dwarfsploitation" isn't as common as other exploitation films like blaxploitation, nunsploitation, and sexploitation. But they are out there. You just gotta look for them. Films like Werner Herzog's Even Dwarfs Started Small and Terror in Tiny Town showcase the "magic" of the dwarf. Even Bloodsucking Freaks, while isn't a complete dwarfsploitation film, it's use of porn actor Luis De Jesus is obviously for unsettling comedic effect. But now, because of the PC world we live in today, the use of dwarfs (I prefer 'midgets' myself) for exploitations sake is rare, if not completely abandoned. Severin Films have released a DVD that brings back the days of yore where dwarfs are the jesters of the exploitation market in the form of director Vidal Raski's The Sinful Dwarf, made in 1974.
Married young couple Peter (Tony Eades) and Mary (the delicious Anne Sparrow) take up residence at a boarding house while Peter looks for a job. Former entertainer Lila Lash (Clara Keller) and her dwarfed son Olaf (Torben Bille) host the couple. However unbeknownst to Peter and Mary, they also run a heroine and prostitute ring. As Peter is job hunting, Mary becomes the victim of their heinous crimes and becomes a heroine addicted sex slave.
The amazing aspect of this film is actor Torben Bille had a children's television show in Denmark. Shown here violating women with his cane, among other things, forced him to lose his job, not surprisingly. As for the film itself, it has that shoddy, ugly, unkempt look and feel of the dingiest of settings. So it works. The sex slaves are shown and attacked in graphic detail (imagine Thriller: A Cruel Picture). Torben is creepy enough to make you uneasy and Keller as the aging Lash reveals a little skin herself, thereby upping the uneasiness factor. Sparrow is a real trooper and drool bucket fillingly smoking hot! Shame this was her only film. The performances are decent enough to pass.
The DVD presents in full frame with Dolby Digital sound. Extras include trailers, radio spots, and a near useless featurette that should've been much more than what it was.
The Sinful Dwarf, while not centering itself on Torben, is sleazy enough for some hardcore exploitation fans. Not widescreen, but who cares? This is the best you are going to find this film. The old VHS copies are far too bad to truly enjoy this flick; because it does deserve attention. Check out one of the sleaziest EuroHorror films made in the 1970's.
B -Rabid Rich
2009 ~ Director: David Jackson
Directed by David Jackson. Starring Max Martini, Nick Chinlund and Jane Park Smith.
War vet Jack Campbell returns home with a dishonorable discharge only to find his brother in a coma, nearly beaten to death in a secret fight club. The Gauntlet, run by a greedy business man is a fight competition Jack will have to get through in this story of revenge to avenge his brother and save his pregnant sister-in-law. Surprise... he doesn't seem to have any problems at all fighting his way to the top in this over the top UFC/Mortal Kombat style event.
Movie wasn't too bad... revenge, blood, boobs... a formula you cant really fail with.
C -Eric Guntor
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