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AUGUST 2006
AMICUS TRIPLE FEATURE
Dark Sky
I had not heard of Amicus Films until I was asked to review these three DVDs from the Dark Sky Films collection. Amicus was a film company that produced British horror films in the 1970’s to rival Hammer Films. The difference between the two was that Amicus set most of their horror films in modern times (modern meaning the 70’s) and Hammer Films were more gothic period pieces. Almost every horror fan knows of Hammer, or should! Most Hammer films are now considered classics, and while Amicus’ output never quite reached this standard, they gave them a good run for their money at times...
1972 ~ Director: Roy Ward Baker
Asylum is a good little anthology horror film that shows what Amicus Films was really all about. It’s set in a mental hospital for the incurably insane in the 1970's. A new doctor has arrived to apply for a job at the asylum. He is put to a test and must interview four of the patients to figure out witch one was a doctor at the asylum at one time, but is now insane. As he interviews each patient, we are sent into their heads to see their creepy story.
I enjoyed this film for what it is. It’s well written by screenwriter Robert Bloch, who wrote the novel Psycho, and well acted by a great British cast that includes Peter Cushing, who is always amazing to watch, and Patrick Magee from A Clockwork Orange, just to name a few. It’s well directed and has some nice cinematography and great editing. Check out the scene where the guy hacks up his wife with a hatchet and tell me if Sam Raimi didn't steal the whole scene, crazy camera angles and all, for Evil Dead.
Yes, this is a stuffy British horror film from the 70’s with no gore, but fun as hell to watch!
B -Bruce Millet
1973 ~ Director: Roy Ward Baker
This story has a haunted house full of severed hands that crawl and an eyeless ghost that rapes any virgin that enters the house. Sounds like an interesting horror movie, though my second venture into Amicus Films is not quite as good as the first.
And Now The Screaming Starts, has, as the title suggests, a lot of screaming in it from sexy British models of the day. It is also one of the few period pieces put out by Amicus. Once again it has high filmmaking standards like great cinematography and good acting, but and I am particularly enjoying Roy Ward Baker as a director. Being a "wannabe" director myself, I admire those with their own style. I noticed it in Asylum and will look for other films he has directed. The editing, however, is choppy and paced poorly in this film. The story has promise but is slow and cheesy, especially compared to other horror films that came out around the same time (The Exorcist, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Last House on the Left).
This would make a good lazy Sunday afternoon atmospheric haunted house movie. Plus, as usual, Peter Cushing is amazing.
C+ -Bruce Millet
1974 ~ Director: Paul Annett
This is quite possibly the worst werewolf movie ever made. It was very hard for me not to hit the fast forward button on this one, but I suffered through it. The Beast Must Die looks like a TV movie from the 70's and has a black lead (Calvin Lockhart) that reminded me of Shaft. Sounds like it should be a good bad movie, but its not. Even the hip funky 70's porn music can’t help save this mess. Amicus was trying branch out and make a cutting edge, modern, funky horror film, but what they ended up with was a movie that’s difficult for anyone to sit through.
The werewolf that they only show in the last few minutes of the film is a dog with fake hair stuck to it. While that sounds funny, its not. I will give this movie credit for two things: 1) There is a break in the film at one point where they ask if we know who the werewolf is and give us 30 seconds to guess before they come back and tell us. I have never seen this done in a film before. 2) Peter Cushing is amazing. But please watch another Amicus Film that he stars is in, as this one is easily one of thier worst.
F -Bruce Millet
2002 ~ Director: Robert Madero
Tempe
Since the popularity of The Evil Dead back in 1983, every horror fan dreamed of being the next Sam Raimi and creating their own horror classic. Almost all of them fail miserably. From films like Woodchipper Massacre to Demon Summer and peeeeeeeee-lenty in the middle, horror fans have seen just about every bad homemade film known to mankind. A sad sight for our sore eyes, indeed.
Then came this little number from Texas Trouble Entertainment. It turns out that Camp Utopia isn't such a bad film. It contains some shitty acting (especially by the overhyped cameo during the opening credits by former RATT frontman Stephen Pearcy) and piss poor FX, but stick my balls in a blender and switch to puree, it ain't that bad!
What could a shot on video horror film with no budget and Stephen Pearcy possibly be about? Well, I'll tell ya...back in `69 (its always in `69, isn't it?), Timothy Bach (Pearcy) plays a Charles Manson type leader who too has ‘family’ complete with peace signs, nude women, drugs, wavy dancing, and loving life and each other. Then, our favorite RATTman decides to go "Round and Round" with a machete, killing everyone in sight and disappears without a trace. Sounds cliche, but the film works!
Step ahead 30+ years as five campers head out to the wilderness for the weekend. During their time, they argue, swear for the point of swearing, come across a fucked up forest ranger, and the men are totally rejected any sexual contact; though nudity abounds. But someone has decided that killing would be a much better activity. After a while of romping through the woods, the body count begins to grow. A blow to the head and multiple arrows are the choice of death here, along a severed head that is just laughable at best. But, somehow, the film still works!
Could this be the work of Timothy Bach? I won't tell, but it doesn't take much of a genius to figure it out and believe it or not, the acting does get better as it approaches to the climax. As far as the DVD goes, we have a full screen presentation. The colors get grainy, but it’s about as good as you can expect from a film like this. Extras include a behind-the-scenes featurette and trailers.
An amusing film that’s somewhat fun...and works!
B- -Rich Caron
2005 ~ Director: Brett Leonard
TLA Releasing
Now that we are in the dog days of summer and there ain't shit at the theaters (with the exception of the glorious The Descent), time to start breaking out the DVDs for a little indoor horrorfest. And the Rabid One has come across a flick guaranteed to make you puke up that hamburger you ate at your parent's BBQ over the weekend. The film is called Feed.
It’s a grotesque portrayal of a very real subject – feeding fat women as a fetish over the internet. Introducing Australian cyberporn investigator Philip Jackson, played by Patrick Thompson who could be the next David (The Beyond) Warbeck, who discovers a website which takes him into the dark world of people called 'feeders' and 'gainers' – a complete site filled with info on these women including weight, heart rate, blood pressure, etc. After a while, old Phil realizes that many of the women on the site are missing. Where are they? No one knows. But our main man of the porn police takes himself across the pond to the US. The woman in question that's seen throughout the film is simply known as Deidre, played by Gabby Millgate. Deidre weighs in at a keg-crushing 600 lbs. and watching her chow down is probably the nastiest thing you will see all year. Will Phil catch the man responsible for making these women disappear? Will Deidre make it to 700 lbs.? Should I buy stock in Burger King and Wendy's knowing people like this exist?
The shear repulsiveness of this Australian film is sure to make you gag. And I thought I was ungagable. The film is so gross you will be sighing relief when you see that Gabby's body isn't real, but an amazing body suit (and in my personal opinion, could pass for special effect of the year!) with realistic pockmarks, stretches, and folds. It even makes fast food (which isn't good for you anyway kids!) look downright stomach-churning. The most frightening aspect of this film is that Deidre is happy and gleeful about not only her appearance, but her goal to be bigger.
As for the DVD, you get a sweet, (no pun intended) unrated 1:78 anamorphic widescreen transfer with 5.1 Dolby Digital that clocks in at 101 minutes. As for the extras, well they’re not quite as fattening: deleted scenes with an altenate ending (though I prefer the ending in the film), final day interview (which is all of 3:30), scenes of the premiere in Philly, behind-the-scenes footage and an infomercial.
A -Rich Caron
1972 ~ Director: Pete Walker
Shriek Show
A madman is stalking a theatrical troupe rehearsing for a mysterious producer, many bottoms are bared, many breasts are exposed and the occasional off screen murder occurs as The Flesh And Blood Show unfolds with more skin than murderous sin. Pete Walker’s first horror film is certainly a film that is more of interest than interesting as it turns out, but fans of the British independent filmmaker should certainly turn up and take a look at it’s rather charming simplicity. While gorehounds will undoubtedly be turned off at the lack of blood, which is written large and drippy on the cover, the film does have lots of things going for it.
A group of young actors are brought together to produce some sort of variety show that includes cave man numbers and lots of erotic dancing by an unknown person. Why? Well...who knows? But it doesn’t matter to them. Led by Mike (Ray Brooks), the troupe attempts to hammer out something interesting to present for their big break on the London stage. But something is amiss right out of the gate. Since they are all shacking up in the deserted theatre at the edge of a spooky pier, they provide a 24 hour a day target for a madman on the loose. The remaining props from years gone by provide a guillotine (which is used of course) and plenty of sharp objects for stabbing annoying young people who have little more on the brain than silly skits and getting down to the business of bums and tits.
And there is plenty of those assets to hang your coat on, since Walker had produced several sex comedies (and quite good ones at that), he had no compunction about getting the kits off and letting the characters build up their own jealousies and motivations to provide red herrings for the viewer to latch on to. After a few bodies surface and one particularly harrowing hobo attack occurs the lot run into Major Bell, a doddering old fella who wants to watch the rehearsals, and won’t stop until he does. Lucky for us, he interrupts on even more naked women, providing a giallo styled moment of stalking, even if it is minus the slash.
Things come to a head as the group is told of the dark history of the building and how a production of Othello led to missing actors, slashed bodies and shattered dreams. And perhaps even a mysterious secret for one of the actors as well! In a finale that makes an excellent double use of the film’s title, The Flesh And Blood Show comes to a finish, and though nobody was wading in gore along the way we get double the flesh for our money. And besides, you get a 3-D finish at the end...sort of.
Fans of British genre films will enjoy The Flesh And Blood Show for a solid cast that includes Jenny Hanley, Luan Peters, Patrick Barr and sex comedy icon Robin Askwith. Most notable for the horror fan in me was the appearance of Candace Glendenning who would also appear in Tower of Evil and Norman J. Warren’s outstanding Satan’s Slave as well. It did take me a while to recognize her, but sitting nude and still reminded me of her best parts let us just say. Each plays their role well and as with many of the Walker films, the story is never dragged down by poor acting. Also very good is the score by Cyril Ornadel, which has a grand and gruesome sound that lifts up virtually every sequence involving the killer with swooping organs and odd percussion. Walker gets stylish in these sequences and even though the running time could have been chopped down and the pace picked up, these bits are a fun precursor to the later successes in Frightmare and House Of Mortal Sin especially. The downsides are evident however, those looking for a rollicking gorefest will doze off during the long waits and anyone looking for a good thriller will probably be turned away by the abundant skin and sleaze. A film for Pete Walker fans who are curious about all of his films, though not an ideal place to start for the uninitiated.
The DVD from Shriek Show is solid, with a clean presentation that only shows some warts during the flat version of the 3-D flashback scene. It should be noted that the same sequence is included as an Easter egg on the extras menu in the original 3-D, which was very thoughtful and should be advertised in my opinion. Also present are trailers for the other Pete Walker Collection titles, and a fantastic bit of salesmanship is on show in each little celluloid time capsule of cinematic promises. Finally, an interview with Walker is included that features lots of good tidbits about the cast and his own thoughts on the film. My only caveat here is that for some reason Walker is interviewed outdoors and the occasional wind blares up and causes a GHASTLY noise, especially grating if you are watching through a home theater set up. I won’t dwell on it, but it makes the entire interview seem very amateur in presentation. To be fair, I will say that the packaging and use of the garish poster art makes up for this in an age where DVD artwork has become horribly bland, this leaps off the shelf and deserves praise.
Overall, Shriek Show’s release of The Flesh And Blood Show is a good package for an interesting, if not entirely successful, film. This is a movie that is perfect viewing for Pete Walker’s fans though I would not recommend it as a horror film by its own merit.
As Simon says in the film, “If only it wasn’t so tragic and horrible, it would almost make a movie script.”
C -David Zuzelo
2006 ~ Director: Stefan Hutchinson
Anchor Bay
If there’s one thing the folks at Anchor Bay Entertainment know how to do it’s milk a franchise like one of Ava Devine's titties. The Evil Dead franchise is one, while most of the Halloween series is the other. Always looking for the almighty dollar, they don’t mind making you double, triple, quadruple, and quintuple dip for the aforementioned film’s latest brand-spanking 'new' release. However, AB has released a Halloween DVD that's not only new, but also in no need of an update.
Halloween: 25 Years of Terror is a 2 DVD set that gives a revealing look at not only Halloween but the entire franchise – from Michael Myers’ early years to him going toe to toe with Busta Rhymes. Included are many, many, many, many interviews and rare stills with the cast and crew of all 8 films. Some of the stories in here you've heard before, but at least they go balls out. No stone is unturned. They even talk about what mistakes they made. Honesty abounds in this and they don't sugar coat it. For once, a film franchises realizes they already got your money. You might as well enjoy it.
The documentary itself is 84 minutes, but the whole set runs over 4 hours of Michael
Myers-Mania! The only setback is that AB is 3 years late on its release as the 25th anniversary of Halloween was back in 2003. But this is a minor point. Overall, this is a must have for die hard Halloween fans and considered a nice pick up for casual fans of the series. While, personally, I find the series to be atrocious (even the first film I am not particularly fond of...Part III is the best of the bunch), it has way too much info for me to dismiss this to the back of class.
A- -Rich Caron
1984 ~ Director: Lucio Fulci
Shriek Show
“…One of Lucio Fulci’s most entertaining works” reads an obviously trumped-up cover sleeve quote from our friends over at DVDManiacs.net. I’d sooner have my tongue extracted a la Mark of the Devil than speak such irreverence. Murder Rock, Slashdance, or whatever hip title you wanna give this is the furthest thing from entertaining. I tend to refer to it as the poor man’s – make that the penniless man’s – New York Ripper.
A gloved psycho (imagine that) goes around offing dancers at a local studio with a hatpin through the boob to pierce the heart. I guess that’s cool, but the endless diatribe of dialogue padding drowns out any form of enjoyment. It’s a chore to get through. Like all gialli, there’s a certain amount of necessary build up to play the whodunit guessing game, but Murder Rock has a really weak payoff...and middle...and beginning.
Oh, and did I mention that the opening credits montage contains lots of BREAKDANCING? I would pay good money to go back in time to simply see the reaction on the late maestro’s face as these numbskulls wormed their way across his set. I can almost hear the sound of his pipe hitting the ground now...
And while I enjoy ELP as much as the next guy, Keith Emerson’s score is completely obnoxious, even for a movie full of undulating, sweaty bodies.
I’ll give Murder Rock credit for the stylish cinematography of Giuseppe Pinori (notably the skyline shots of NYC and the effective dream sequence about 30 minutes in), accentuated further by what is probably Shriek Show’s most pristine film transfer to date. It was admittedly much easier on the eyes to sit through than the 3rd generation VHS copy I’ve since trashed. The team of Ray Lovelock & Olga Karlatos is probably Fulci’s classiest pairing, and it’s a shame that they didn’t have more to work with.
Why this is a two-disc set I’ll never know, but it’s packed full of some decent extras (the 5 image photo gallery notwithstanding). The beautifully filmed Tempus Fugit is a re-edited version of Daniel Gouyette’s documentary Non Respondi Piu and is chock-full of interesting interpretations of Fulci’s work. A smattering of those interviewed include Luigi Cozzi, Dardano Sacchetti, Claudio Argento and scriptwriter Antonio Tentori who, surprisingly, provides the most insight. It's the reason to purchase this dual edition.
Extended interviews with Lovelock & Pinori are also included as is an audio commentary with the cinematographer and journalist Frederico Caddeo that surprisingly holds up throughout the entire run time.
The film’s best line (uttered by the great Cosimo Cinieri), “He’d sit on his mother’s head for a laugh,” is something I would’ve preferred to watch as, sadly, this is post-Sacchetti Fulci at its most mind numbing.
D+ -Mike Baronas
2006 ~ Director: David Zucker
Weinstein Company
Who the hell likes these movies and why?
Even though this was directed by David Zucker, who created such greats as Airplane and Police Squad, the writing team was just not up to snuff on this one and I think I know why; Jerry Zucker was not a part of it. Jerry hasn’t been part of this group since 1994’s The N aked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult and it shows. This movie was so bad, I fell asleep during it and had to watch most of it over again so I can give it a proper review.
This movie isn’t very funny. Maybe if I smoked a bag of weed, maybe, just maybe, I’d have really laughed, but that’s doubtful. The cover gives you an idea of the movies they will be (piss)taking on; The Village, Saw, War of the Worlds, The Grudge and...King Kong? I never saw one bit of King Kong in this movie. Did I miss something? I was actually looking forward to seeing them rip that apart, not that I didn’t like King Kong, I just thought it could be funny. The one good scene in the whole movie was the Brokeback Mountain bit that made me laugh, but the rest was dismal.
Originally conceived by Shawn and Marlon Wayans, who haven’t been funny since Don’t Be a Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood, Scary Movie was a take-off on Scream, which, in case you didn’t know, was Scream’s original title. I’m surprised who turned up in this as well; Charlie Sheen has a part near the beginning that is semi-funny with him trying to kill himself; an idea that has happened in countless comedies to the point where it’s a tired gag. The real shocker was Michael Madson who plays Tim Robbins’ character in the War of the Worlds spoof, which completely misses the mark by not playing off Madson’s tough exterior.
I think the biggest problem is the dialog. Original Zucker productions relied on punchy dialog that often toyed with accents; it was smart slapstick. Another thing the writing team forgot that’s essential to all things Zucker is the running gag. They are the basis behind movies like The Naked Gun and there just aren’t any in here.
The DVD offers many extras so if you happen to be brain dead and like the movie, you’ll enjoy all the junk they put on here. I wasted enough time with the film to check out the extras, but by looking at the cover they have 15 deleted scenes, a blooper reel, a visual effects featurette, a David Zucker biography and more.
You’re not missing anything here except a good nap.
F -Ryan Travis
1989
Warner Bros.
The Tales from the Crypt series on DVD has been met with more than mixed emotions. While the series is presented here uncut and full-frame complete with opening and closing monologues by everyone's favorite rotted host, the one thing that keeps the series from garnering an explosive rating is the lack of extras, and Season 4 is no exception.
There are only two 'extras' in the set: Commentary on “What's Cookin'” episode by The Cryptkeeper, writer Alan Katz and series chronicler Digby Diehl and “The Stars of Season 4” montage hosted by The Cryptkeeper. The real shame is the complete lack of the interactive menu monologue by CK (unlike the first 3 sets). It just shows that the folks at Warner Brothers are caring less and less about the series. Is there really not that much to talk about? It’s Tales from the Crypt for fuck’s sake!
But gore abounds in these 14 episodes which are complete with good scares, and you can really see that TFTC is getting into the swing of things at this point. If you have the first 3 sets, you might as well get this one.
B+ -Rich Caron
1974 ~ Director: Tobe Hooper
Dark Sky
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: the gritty little movie with a great big title that changed filmmaking forever. It will always be, in my humble opinion, the Pinnacle of Horror and Dark Sky Films has blessed us with an absolutely gorgeous presentation. Yes, I just described this 84 minute roller-coaster of claustrophobic anguish as “gorgeous.” The causal observer may find this a peculiar adjective to use, but the throngs of us who have studied the film scene by scene for years are likely never to see TCM given such love. The colors, hues and contrast pop like never before without losing the realistic, almost documentary, feeling. It is absolutely breathtaking – like seeing it again for the first time. Bravo Dark Sky!
What more needs to be said about this cinematic masterpiece that hasn’t already been said? Former Anchor Bay supplement guru Michael Felsher answers this with his new company Red Shirt Pictures’ documentary Flesh Wounds. Aside from the stunning restoration of the film itself, this is the 2-disc set’s jewel – a fun, lovingly-constructed, seven segment collection of anecdotes from stars Gunnar Hansen & Ed Neal, “Grandpa” make-up artist W.E. Barnes, cinematographer Daniel Pearl, and TCM fan club operator & cool mofo Tim Harden. Felsher also gives insight into the movie’s longevity at a couple of horror conventions and even acknowledges those who have passed on (Jim “Old Man/Cook” Siedow, Paul “Franklin” Partain & Art/Production Designer Robert A. Burns) with a classy little tribute. This is easily one of the best documentaries on any genre disc ever...and I used to be in this line of work!
Equally as important to the history of the film’s creation is former Blue Underground’s supplement guru David Gregory’s The Shocking Truth. Originally released in 2000, this in-depth documentary tells the tale of the film from beginning to end via an enormous majority of cast and crew (including the late Siedow, Partain & Burns). Gregory was even able to wrangle a chat with one of the film’s investors, Robert Kuhn, who recounts the tale of the infamous distribution deal gone wrong with the mafia-connected Bryanston Distributors and Louis ‘Butchie’ Peraino (a complete timeline of this deception can be found here at Tim Harden’s awesome TCM site). The only drawback is the excruciatingly monotone delivery of the doc’s narrator Matthew Bell. Other than that, this too is top notch.
Additional bonus features include two commentary tracks – the Hansen, Hooper, Pearl chat from the Pioneer DVD and a lively new one featuring Marilyn Burns, Allen Danziger, Robert Burns & Paul Partain. Outtakes, bloopers, trailers, stills, etc. (some new, some not) round out this beauty.
Being the film’s third pressing on DVD may cause some to question how much is too much Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but what we have here is as close to complete biography as we’ll ever get on the little horror film that could.
A+++ -Mike Baronas
JULY 2006
(aka "DEAD MEAT")
2005 ~ Director: Philip Cruz
Velocity/Thinkfilm
Ahoy, mateys! All hands on deck, thar’s a storm a brewin’, and its name is Andre the Butcher. After a brief introduction in which an escaped inmate gets killed by the title character, this tale starts off with 4 cheerleaders (the Beavers) sailing down the road to a competition. Along the way they come across another 4 cheerleaders (the Game Cocks) anchored on the side of the road with a broken vessel. After a brief slobber knocker, the Beavers set sail, but soon veer off-course themselves, into a telephone pole. Thus begins the search for someone to help them out. Of course, this leads them to a seemingly abandoned house which they decide to check out. Two of the cheerleaders go off to find help, only to have the fat one distracted by a donut in a hempen halter, which is obviously a trap set by Andre. Somehow, two more escaped inmates appear, and eventually board the ship that the Beavers are now occupying.
To make a long journey a bit shorter, the sheriff shows up, just about everyone dies, and it turns out that Andre is working on Satan’s behalf. One of the escaped prisoners is a former priest, so he uses his “holy water” to do away with Andre. Shiver me timbers, I can’t even come up with anymore clever stuff this movie was so awful.
If you’re even contemplating watching this movie, weigh anchor and set sail for a different ocean. You’d be better off walking the plank towards Davey Jones’ locker than subjecting yourself to this.
D- -Goz
1987 ~ director: Norman J. Warren
Redemption
 The career of Norman J. Warren is a fascinating one, though frustratingly brief. A truly maverick British director, Warren made several downbeat horror films that stretched any limitations their budget imposed to become endlessly watchable and memorable as well. His final feature film was to be this bizarre (and I do mean that word) 80’s "goofy kids in peril from hideous monsters in a house" nonsense however. Not exactly the finest swan song for a distinguished career.
Though Warren could not overcome a script loaded with good set pieces but horrifically poor storytelling, the final result does stand as one of the strangest micro-budget films of the `80’s. Forget Jay Woelfel’s film Beyond Dreams Door (if you ever saw it), this one is far more demented! Hey, when you see the production company is called "Cinema and Theatre Seating Limited" you know the funds aren’t exactly absconding into the director’s pocket. If Warren’s career can be marked by a success it is his ability to supplant resource famine with a feast of ideas.
And he tosses up a cheap feast here, extra baloney and cheese for all! And there are many varieties of cheese to eat in this Bloody New Year celebration.
Opening on New Year’s Eve in 1959, a group of partygoers dance the night away until one of them is seemingly absorbed by a strange mirror. To say this was achieved by a very clever camera set up is an understatement. Flash forward as time becomes irrelevant entirely. The government saw fit to test out a SPACE/TIME bending plane on this night and obviously pitched the area into a temporal dead zone. Well, it seems obvious to this viewer at least. Sounds like a good enough idea doesn’t it?
Cut to the 1980’s, where a somewhat likable bunch of folks get into a row with some carny people in a fun chase sequence set to some truly horrific pop music. The little band of miscreants takes in a harassed American girl and decides to go out on a boat for some relaxation and getting their groove on after blowing through the carnival.
Woops, they hit the deadspace zone.
Woops, they end up at the hotel.
Woops, it gets bizarre from here. Yes, from here on out it gets stranger/sillier…
Upon the arrival of our heroes to the hotel de strange, they set out to mill about as strange things happen – banister monsters spring to life, televisions play old news reports about planes that bend light and go missing on New Year’s Eve (ahem, TIP OFF FOLKS!), and people go missing. We can call this…the parts where people call other people’s names a whole lot, if you like. But thankfully they still are intent on making whoopee and don’t let banister beasts dissuade them from their course of action. So now they make easy picking for the time lost ghosts naturally. Crazy death and rebirth sequences occur culminating in the most chaotic bit when one girl turns into a killer snow woman. While this all comes to an unsurprising conclusion it is the bizarre events that make the fast paced and unrelenting 90 minutes go by quickly. When the film gets slow, the characters even watch the highlights of the great final BRAIN ATTACK sequence from Fiend Without A Face.
Now then, with a plot description as written above this sounds like a truly boring, awful and terrible experience. While it falls far below the great Norman J. Warren films such as Terror and Inseminoid, the director imbues the film with his trademark willingness to just be downright odd at any moment. So many strange things happen as evil characters leap out of movie screens to screech and holler out nasty words while giving chase to the cast that you can’t take your eyes off the film. Bloody New Year is about as unbalanced a film as you are likely to see. At 50 minutes in, you’ll be wondering where it could possibly go for the next 40...but it does go on...and on!
Some truly horrific poptones from "Cry No More" really tear the joint up. Bland New Wave tunes abound, but as bizarre as the movie is, it’s equally strange that band member Tony Fernandez would later play in Major League Baseball’s World Series. Only a movie like Bloody New Year could spawn such a strange co-incidence.
 It’s got sighing fish nets that don’t like being whacked with axes, screaming beasts made of electrical tape that pop out of the top of an odd bit of furniture (???), gore, silliness and a piano riff that is played a million times to stunningly little effect. What more could you ask? For the interested, Anchor Bay UK has released a wonderful Norman J. Warren boxed set featuring his best features, a host of intriguing extras and solid transfers. To enjoy the man’s work, get that… this oddity is not in the box (with good reason) and makes a fine supplement to the main filmography of one of the UK’s most fascinating filmmakers.
Redemption’s release through Image of Bloody New Year on DVD is no frills, which is sad because Warren has given some outstanding commentary track performances. I’m sure this isn’t his proudest moment, but an interview would have been nice. Chapter marks are included as is a French audio track without the benefit of English subtitles. Nigel Wingrove provides a nice bit of liner note work with an overview of Warren’s career that does him justice. Presented in full frame and fairly clean, it is a minimal presentation of a minimal film, but Bloody New Year is one movie that the right viewer can maximize a great bit of fun from.
C- -David Zuzelo
BROTHERS IN BLOOD
1987 ~ Director: Tonino Valerii
(unreleased on DVD)
Any Italian action film that opens up by using alternating shots of camouflaged soldiers and bamboo huts makes me smile and the intention is clear from the starting bell – hut frying action! And that is just what we have in Brothers In Blood. From one ballistic beginning, to a slower, though highly entertaining, middle, we are led through a maze of plot twists in this effort from director Tonino Valerii. And this film is very satisfying chow for the Eurotrash Action fan.
After the Vietnam action crammed opening, the remaining members of Codename Tigerlily (!!) have to live with the fact that they left behind one of their own in order to survive. The team members are hard hit, most especially Sergeant Logan aka Steel (played with lunkish appeal by Bo Svenson). Leap forward to 1987 as a caption tells us, and now Steel is a rampaging alcoholic beating up those who dislike the military- obviously he has not been able to blend in at home easily. On a chance occurrence that could only happen in the most bizarre turn of plot lines, terrorists have kidnapped the soldier that he left behind in Vietnam and are trotting him around on television! With a newfound purpose he sets out to absolve his past sins and his foot is eager to go deep into some terrorist ass as well. Regrouping his troopers (tigerlillies just sounds so wrong) by scouring the globe takes a lot of screen time, but luckily each of them have a story to tell. The pilot takes care of his ill child, the weapons guy turned casino owner and is in trouble with the mob, you know the drill. However, in a crazy and unexpected turn, a poetry spewing drag queen (Werner Pochath) is ready to aid in the rescue mission, and the crew all saddle up and get ready to get down. All of the men are tough to kill and ready to roll into the little island of San Philippe with guns at the ready. Perfect.
It doesn’t help that their own government (represented by a dubbed Martin Balsam) is out to get them and shut down the party. “We don’t want any unauthorized heroes lying around!” Yeah, those damn government types really know how to gum up the works.
Lots of explosions and battles ensue as twist becomes turn and a turnaround await at the end of the story as a fun journey through some VERY impoverished locales and more than a few intentional laughs blow by for the 94 minutes running time.
 Tonino Valerii is perhaps best known for his spaghetti westerns and proves a great fit for action films in the `80’s as well. Unafraid to direct the actors instead of simply relying on pyrotechnics, the story takes it’s time and develops into a bloody drama that never gets too heavy that it forgets to do the duty and serve up the violent action booty. Screenwriter Roberto Leoni tried his hand at gialli and action before working with Alejandro Jodorowsky after this film-and his input makes the small exploding guard tower and body count very excusable, by choosing to entertain in other ways Brothers In Blood is unique.
While Svenson is his reliable self and much more interested than his occasional phoned-in/zoned-out Larry Ludman performances, it is Werner Pochath who steals the show. From tough commando to an enslaved drag queen enthusiastically sing-songing poetry in the scummy “Safari Disco,” he puts his considerable talents to use in an expression of rage and anger at his predicament-forced to be a Generals man/slut/slave, he sure doesn’t seem happy. When he goes to turn the tables on the General who has him under his thumb (when he is greeted with a riding crop and a “prepare yourself!” phrase I shuddered) – the performance is so good the scene appears out of place in an action film. Set to a somewhat over-classy score by Riz Ortolani, the movie becomes more than the sum of its parts as a whole-and provides lots of reasons to revisit it.
Well made, sharply acted and with more than a few Mega-Jumbo explosions, Brothers In Blood is an exceptional movie that will please action fans, as well as becoming a worthy entry into the trash film canon simply for the Pochath side story!
B -David Zuzelo
CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST
1980 ~ director: Ruggero Deodato
Grindhouse Releasing
 Before I started to write this review, I took another look at Cannibal Holocaust – not because I thought I needed a slight refresher course, but because this DVD package is just so fucking amazing! For the few of you who have not seen this landmark of Italian filmmaking, allow me to enlighten you…
The story follows four documentary filmmakers who travel to the Brazilian rainforest to do a piece on the cannibal culture. However, few months pass and no one has heard from them since.
Enter Dr. Harold Monroe (Robert Kerman), an NYU anthropologist who is hired to find our four missing comrades. After many days of searching, the skeletal remains of Alan Yates (Gabriele Yorke) and his crew are found decorated with their gear. The film cans are taken back to America where the good doctor reviews them to see what might have happened. Yates, Faye Daniels (Francesca Ciardi), Mark Tomasso (Luca Barbereschi) and Jack Anders (Perry Pirkanen) seemingly appear to be making a legitimate documentary, until their true tendencies are captured on film as they unremorsefully reek havoc on the tribespeople. These guys were real bastards, and, perhaps, got what they deserved in the end.
The film, and its director Ruggero Deodato, live in infamy for the many disgusting – yet somehow beautiful – scenes guaranteed to churn your soul inside out: animal torture, forced abortions and gang raping are but some of the goodies you'll encounter along the way. You’ll need a strong stomach for some of it!
Riz Ortolani's hauntingly beautiful score really sets the mood from the opening shot. The slow melodic score combined with the nauseating violence makes for a memorable viewing experience.
As for the DVD release, it took Grindhouse Releasing 7 years to bring this masterpiece legally in the stores across America. This was due not only for the MASSIVE quantity of extras contained herein, but it turns out the packaging was a bit of a problem as Grindhouse couldn't find anyone to print the “controversial” imagery. It’s amazing to see Deodato's greatest accomplishment released the way it was meant to be – with full bells and whistles that will turn you inside out!
A+ -Rich Caron
CARNAGE FOR THE DESTROYER
2005 ~ director: Chris Seaver
Splatter Rampage
Chris Seaver's Low Budget Pictures (LBP) strikes again, cast with a bunch of LBP regulars and some recurring characters (Choach, Meistro, and Teen Ape) from previous LBP productions. The basic premise is that the kids from Bonejack Heights set out to prepare a haunted house for Halloween, but project leader Sebastian – a "true metal" warrior if ever there were one (played by real-life "true metal" warrior and LBP newcomer Travis Indovina) – unwittingly summons the destroyer god Apollyon after which the haunted house will be themed...and the killing ensues in linear fashion.
There is fair warning to viewers "of strong moral fiber," printed on the packaging and on the screen before it all commences. Well, they're serious: foul, competetive dialog between over-sexed alpha male chauvinists Choach and Teen Ape (which would make even Silent Bob's partner Jay blush); several over-the-top simulated sex humor gags, each more disturbing than the preceding one; over-sexed dominatrix/weirdo Morgana (played by Meredith Host) with her penchant for peeing fully clothed in front of others, etc.
There really aren't any over-the-top gore FX; but the 55-minute Carnage For The Destroyer is mostly about the dialog and characters anyway (seriously); and as much as I feel guilty admitting it, I'm kind of endeared to it. Each character, as if from an over-the-top, debauched/deranged Kevin Smith parallel universe, has undeniable identity and...errrr...appeal. A good chunk of this is gut-bustingly funny, and the sum total of all the dysfunctional interaction between these larger-than-life deviants, although absurd, is convincing enough to achieve Seaver's goal of entertaining the viewer. Extra points in this forum for having a "metal" guy save the day...with Manowar lyrics, no less!
Bonus features include audio commentaries (writer/director Chris Seaver, and LBP cast/crew), a 29-minute "behind-the-scenes" featurette, a 37-minute cast rehearsal, a 3-minute "Epic Metal" commercial, and trailers...all worthwhile.
B+ -Mark Fields
GOBLET OF GORE
1996 ~ director: Andreas Schnaas
Non Serviam
There are only a few reactions to the work of the Gore Warrior of Germany, Andreas Schnaas…so where do YOU fall?
A) Complete love from his fans (that would be me)
B) Utter disdain from his critics (a middle-sized group of hardcore horror devotees)
Or
C) Uh…who? (that would be EVERYONE ELSE)
Schnaas has been ripping up the German underground splatter scene for ages now, once causing Deep Red head honcho Chas. Balun to request the Berlin Wall be rebuilt to protect the world from his films. Since that political stratagem didn’t pan out, Andreas continues to do carve out his happy little splatter driven universe. A deal with Unearthed Pictures will assist in the spewing of Violent Shit all over the United States this year, and it is long overdue. Be it with Karl the Butcher in the Violent Shit films, Nikos The Impaler or perhaps even the somewhat upscale monstrosity of Demonium, you can rely on Andreas to bring the blood bags along and generously shatter them at every opportunity. But is that enough to make a movie “good?”
Well, that depends on what you want from his films. As a rabid fan of the SchnaasTastic one, I know what to expect and set my expectations right where they should be. His atrocity exhibitions are wet and wild fun, made as amusements from one fan to another, and his filmography is a blissful catalog of cinematic (and videophonic) offenses. Someone has to do it, and he digs in with a zeal that many “by the numbers and hope the chain video shops buy the crap” lack.
 With the upcoming releases in the US and past worldwide availability, the films haven’t been particularly difficult to find, but the Acolytes of Schnaas have long scratched their heads at one title in the filmography of frantic splat. This tantalizing title had remained unfinished and elusive for years and it was called Goblet of Gore. However it was finally finished (sort of) and released last year in a limited edition DVD package.
Shot between Violent Shit 2 and 3 and on Super 8 film (gasp!) instead of the usual video/DV medium, this release is a chance to see what existed of the project and with a few little touches it runs nearly feature length. Quite different from Schnaas’ other films of the period, Goblet of Gore contains a twisted time traveling scenario far beyond his normal simple set ups as well as intensely bizarre sexual violence in abundance. Perhaps a bit too ambitious for his budget and resources, Goblet of Gore does stand out as being more intense and strange than anything else he has released. Nazi Schoolgirl Cheerleader handjobs of death, a literal mouth popping orgasm, Viking sword battles and industrial rock collide in an unsavory stew of gore to cover up for the plot…the one that is non-existent. But it is nonstop action for the short running time, and that is the only reason the film is in your player if you are watching a film called Goblet of GORE. You’ll either get it, or you won’t, but the works of Schnaas are critic proof to his fans – and I’d recommend this to them and nobody else. If you ever wondered what a cheap German gore film version of a penis rending a woman in half would look like…get ready for the answer.
 If the above sentence turns you off, run away…QUICK!
Sporting a soundtrack that sounds much more recent than the actual film, some great tunes accompany the minimal dialogue and maximum imagery. It is very obvious this was a project dug out of the vaults at Schnaas HQ and could not possibly have been the original product Andreas had in mind. All things considered, the original footage runs under an hour, padded out with some wild (and loud) credits, so it’s a quick view that feels as disjointed as anything I’ve ever watched. And I’ve watched plenty of disjointed films. It’s time to set up, kill the characters, and set up again with a spooky witch voice commanding those who drink (beer, wine or urine) from The Goblet.
The DVD of Goblet of Gore is a nice package, with a few extras including a nice photo gallery as well as three music videos from the soundtrack. The film itself looks grainy and beat up, but that is to be expected from a nearly lost Super 8 film. The postproduction did beef up the audio quite well. Interestingly, there is only an English Language dub, and no German subtitles at all, even though this is a release “Only For Austria!”
Pay extra attention to the song Goblet of Gore and the video. Andreas is rocking out big time with GANG LOCO here, and watching that performance brings up the very appeal of the work of Schnaas…he’s there for fun and he pours it all from his own goblet of gore…right into your lap!
C -David Zuzelo
OCTOBER MOON
2006 ~ director:
Jason Paul Collum
Tempe
No-budget horror pioneer J.R. Bookwalter's Tempe Video has released its share of dogs in its 20 years in business, which is why it is so encouraging to see the fiercely independent label taking a chance and breaking the mold that has cast them in the eyes of too many as common purveyors of T&A and cheap, bloody terror tales. With Jason Paul Collum's October Moon, which plays like Fatal Attraction On Brokeback Mountain, they have the, umm...balls to risk alienating longtime fans in order to tell a good, chilling story (that just happens to be about three gay guys).
Elliot (Jerod Howard) is a nebbish newly engaged to zaftig sweetie Marti (Tina Ona Paukstalis). When his new job working as an executive assistant puts him in close quarters with his very good-looking (and very gay) boss Corin (a real purdy Sean Michael Lambrecht), Elliot questions his choices and sexuality and develops a crush on Corin. A dangerous crush. A DEADLY crush.
The whole thing is very Carrie, only this outcast's Special Power is irritation. First-timer and non-actor Howard is so awkward in the role of the desperate loser that he's actually creepy, making it somewhat easy to forgive the occasional amateurish acting (Night Of The Living Dead beauty Judith O'Dea is pretty bad as Elliot's mother channeling Piper Laurie.) Winsome veteran scream queen Brinke Stevens is the best of the bunch, sinking her acting chops into her role as Corin's office confidante, her bikini-clad Slave Girls From Beyond Infinity days long behind her. While it may not be the first gay horror film that it claims to be (that honor would go to Hellbent), it surely proves that there is a niche-within-a-niche that needs to be filled.
B- -Robert Newton
POLYMORPH
1996 ~ director: J.R. Bookwalter
Tempe
Polymorph was made in 1996 for about $10k. You get a sense of the miniscule budget right from the start, when a CG scene looking somewhat like a bad animation of a Star Wars opening pops on the screen and launches something to earth. Comic book style panels indicate where we are in the story at scene changes.
A young lass (Tarper) in a nearby cabin hears something in the woods, and thinks it’s someone looking for her. Turns out, she has a ton of drugs she is watching for Carlos, the bad ass dealer with the flaming thin pink tie. She calls Carlos, who gathers his troops to get to the cabin and help protect the stash. Meanwhile, a Doctor from a local company is dispatched to check out a blip on their radar (“This is Ohio, not Beirut” he says to the security guard that’s with). He finds a glowing green blob in the river, so he calls some of the interns to come help him investigate. Bill the intern decides to bring his girlfriend along, and they also invite a girl for the other intern Ted. The Doctor and Security Guard come upon the cabin, and are subsequently killed. While disposing of the bodies, the green slime gets into a wound in Tarper’s leg (“looks like something out of a Roger Corman movie” she later says). Bill & Ted (excellent!) and the girls show up, and decide to setup camp since they can’t find the Doc. They spend the night, with Bill cock-blocking Ted a couple of times (great friend). The next day Bill & Ted and the girls venture into the woods to look for the Doc (Ted says “The minute I hear Dueling Banjos, you guys are on your own”, which made me laugh a little).
They find the cabin, and inside is a dead Tarper, and a ton of nose candy. Carlos and his henchmen arrive, and all hell breaks loose. Eventually, Tarper comes back to life (“We thought you were dead, man.” “Do I look like I’m dead?”), Bill’s girlie is killed, Tarper is shot again, and again – the last one ricochets from her head back to kill Bill, which was kind of a neat effect.
Apparently the polymorph transferred into one of the other dead people, as they come to with glowing green eyes and the ability to throw glowing green orbs that usually miss their intended target. After lots of running around in the woods, random gunfire, bad dialogue delivered badly (including the gem “This thing has all the believability of a Mentos commercial”, and the polymorph taking the form of every dead person (it even took the form of Ted, who hadn’t died yet). One shot from Donna kills the scurrying green blob after she rips it out of Alice’s mouth. Carlos and Donna, being the only survivors, drive off into the sunset. Carlos promptly puts a bullet into Donna’s head (“you’ve seen my face…you know what I do…I just can’t have that”) and the credits roll.
Tempe put a good bit of effort into the DVD release for this. The video is as good as you can probably get for a $10k movie, and the 5.1 audio is also well-done. There are 2 audio commentary tracks, one with director J.R. Bookwalter and the main male actors, and the second with Ariaunna Albright (Donna). There is also a 30-minute “Making Of” which is mostly comprised of recent interviews with the cast and crew, although Bookwalter doesn’t appear in it. Three more short video segments round it out: on-set footage, bloopers and outtakes, and original auditions which were kind of cool to see.
Overall, this isn’t a great film, but it has some decent effects, passable acting, and I found it pretty entertaining (which is what it all comes down to, anyway).
B -Goz
PROJECT: VALKYRIE
2002 ~ director: Jeff Waltrowski
Fat Cat
Current-day loser Jim Cranston (played by co-writer/co-producer Steve Foland) inherits a top-secret 1940's robot created by his grandfather Professor Jack Cranston (played by director/co-writer/co-producer Jeff Waltrowski). Unfortunately, among Jack's other personal effects is a top-secret virus that "turns ordinary people into cybernetic killing machines." The virus ends up in the hands of local neo-Nazi ringleader Frank Ellis ("Monster" Dave Droxler) and only Valkyrie (the robot) can help Jim and his concerned-for-her-brother cohort Anne Ellis (Anne Richardson) save the town from the mutant Nazi gang's sinister plot to infect the community and usher in the Fourth Reich.
Upon first viewing, I was impressed with few things and critical of many. Although this is an independent endeavor, some of the flat acting (mostly by newcomer Richardson), technical shortcomings (3 different levels of microphone hum in one scene, for example), and unintentionally kitschy makeup of the mutants (heads appear de-fleshed while the rest of their exposed skin is 100% normal in their short-sleeve shirts - goofy that mutant "killing machines" would have dramatically-transformed heads only) kind of offset the positive aspects like the genuinely funny dialog delivery by Foland, the likability, personality, and innocence of the silent Valkyrie (played "present-day" by Chris Maurer), numerous scene references to other cool movies (most obviously Star Wars and Raiders of the Lost Ark), and the genuine homage paid to the B/W serialized short films of yesteryear.
After a second viewing, however, I "got it" quite a bit more. A lot more references to other films became apparent, and it's pretty cool how Waltrowski managed to work the referring shots into the picture. In large part an homage to those old serials, it NEEDS to be corny in spots. And the editing is good.
In addition to the 83-minute feature, the DVD includes Tempe DVD trailers, a making-of featurette, a blooper reel, a short film, and cast & crew commentary track. Checking out the commentary track unpacks the movie a lot more. Some of the "questionable" directorial decisions are, in fact, deliberate "f*ck-you"'s to traditional movie-making, which, in that light, makes some parts even funnier than they already were. Many more film references are noted that I'd missed.
The killing heats up toward the end and, given the budget constraints, there are some pretty good gore FX. I always have a soft spot for chainsaw kills, and we get to see some bad guys dispatched in this glorious fashion.
Project: Valkyrie first made its rounds in independent theaters some years back. It is nice that a movie of this caliber hasn't vanished into obscurity. Kudos to Fat Cat/Tempe for releasing this.
B -Mark Fields
SATANIC YUPPIES
1996 ~ director: Mark Burchett & Michael D. Fox
Tempe
Originally released in 1996 as Evil Ambitions, Tempe has recently released a slightly updated version with newly created extras, and re-titled Satanic Yuppies. The story revolves around a reporter (Pete McGavin), who discovers a seemingly supernatural connection between some recent murders of young ladies. Think Kolchak: The Night Stalker done as a really bad B-movie, and you’ll kinda get the right feel for what this movie is about. For a b-movies, there is surprisingly little flesh shown (save for the newly inserted and completely out-of-place scenes with Glori-Anne Gilbert dancing with a snake), but the acting and writing is as you’d expect (that is, pretty terrible). There were a couple of quick witted lines (“Don’t spit in my gravy”, spoken during a cell phone call that interrupted one of the Satanic rituals). The only redeeming acting in this came at the end when Randy Rupp plays Satan, and does a good job, but not even that can save this sinking ship. I’d get into more detail about the movie, but it isn’t really worth it, as I’ve already lost 2+ hours of my time watching the movie and extras. Save yourself the agony and skip Satanic Yuppies.
The presentation on DVD is pretty poor. The video is grainy, pixilated, and colors bleed and run all over the place. The audio hisses more than a barrel full of pissed-off snakes. The extras include a fake newscast talking about the 9th anniversary of the incident, 30 minutes of interview clips with cast and crew (where most seem to like the movie and actually are proud of it), and a commentary track.
D -Goz
SPIDER LABYRINTH
1988 ~ director: Gianfranco Giagni
(unreleased on DVD)
Amidst the digital rediscovery of European horror of both classic and not so classic vintage, the omission of this film amongst any of the usual suspects DVD release lists is as mysterious as the secret of the Weavers the film portrays. As the Italian Horror film slid into a funk, producer Tonino Cervi and director Gianfranco Giagni took what could have easily been a toss away bit of z-grade cheese and took deeply from the great horror tradition of Italy and meshed it tightly with a story straight from the Lovecraft universe to spin a masterpiece. Flawed? Oh most certainly. But Spider Labyrinth is a stylish use of Argento and Bava's esthetics that were lost on most other Italian horror producers working at the time.
To divulge the bulk of the plot would be a grave disservice to the uninitiated in my opinion, so let's simply start at the same point the film does. Opening with a nightmarish vision of a young boy trapped in a wardrobe with a spooky spider, we segue to the bearer of the dream, Alan Whitmore (Roland Wybenga) awakening as an adult. Whitmore has been caught in a predestined web of darkness from the start it appears, and that web tightens to a stranglehold as he goes to his workplace and finds himself bound for the mysterious hotbed of occult goings on in the fictional world, Budapest. He seems all too happy to do so, but as we can see he doesn't have any clue what he is in for. Everyone else sure appears to though, as his employers exchange several knowing glances that do not bode well.
As the coordinator of a worldwide investigation into an ancient culture, Whitmore’s job is to pull together the missing data collected by the previous holder of his position. Of course, his predecessor was driven mad by what he learned in Budapest. Upon Alan’s arrival he meets beautiful women (who strut about nude), sketchy policemen, creepy kids and supposedly crazy scholars. And death follows him at every step. Nasty, vile and gruesome death!
Taking the “stranger in an even stranger land” approach of Lovecraft to heart, the filmmakers push us right into the middle of our main character's plight from the first frame. A constant sense of knowledge lurking directly past Whitmore's field of awareness that would send him running in fear is present constantly, stirring up dread in a way that many horror films fall short of. Taking strength from disturbing images and tossing subtlety out the window, events crash down with a thud to signal that horror lurks all around this Budapest and nothing seems real anymore.
Steeped in European horror tradition, director Gianfranco Giagni has crafted a film that feels both of it's time and also proudly keeps a visual reference guide taken from the best eyes in the cinema as well. Bright colors and creepy angles abound and Budapest becomes an artificial stage for the impending dooms he sets these characters towards. Using the horror films of Dario Argento as an inspiration (and perhaps a template), who had in turn been heavily influenced by Mario Bava, Spider Labyrinth takes style as it's primary substance and again goes into the dreamy level of horror from the big boot.
Giagni had worked only in TV up to this point in his career, directing episodes of the cult series Valentina (which was based on the cult series of comics by Guido Crepax) as well as music videos. It's obvious that his potential went far beyond those however. Next to the debut of Michele Soavi with Stagefright, he remains one of the more intriguing directors to come from this period of Italian Horror. Sadly he dropped off of the radar, and resurfaced only in 2001 with Nella terra di nessuno (In No Man's Land), a thriller starring Ben Gazzara.
Unafraid to go beyond horror and scuttle straight into splatter territory, the murder sequences are violent and gruesome. While companies like Filmirage were cranking out cheap and cheesy gore, Spider Labyrinth instead went for shocking violence that doesn’t elicit chuckles from the viewer. With special effects by Sergio Stivaletti, the film is both cursed and blessed by both sides of this particular craftsman. The actual gore is fantastic and imaginatively rendered, but when a mechanical creature is called for…well, I bet you know what I'm talking about. Somehow in the same sequence Stivaletti creates a beautifully disturbing image and dumps a stunningly corny one atop it! I'll leave it at that. Also, the movie flashes back technologically and applies some stop motion techniques that range from great (the opening spider shot is so disturbing to me that I've never ever forgotten it, and I've seen this film a dozen times at least) to not so classic. However, these effects embrace another tradition of horror films, and it is especially heartening to see that kind of imagination applied during this period of Eurohorror.
One of the strongest elements that contribute to the success of Spider Labyrinth is the cast. Roland Wybenga may have a small filmography, but he portrays Alan Whitmore very well by stepping into odd scene upon odd scene while convincingly being both inquisitive and cranky at turns. He knows things are wrong yet stays the course to solve the mystery, even when the cost is obviously higher than most anyone should willingly pay. His performance is so good that the audience can happily become more a conspirator with the other characters than a spectator waiting for the hero to overcome the "evil" around him. A rare thing that is! Some other familiar performers round out the cast, including the always intriguing face of Stéphane Audran and William Berger. Berger is particularly ominous here, and it could be one of his most effective roles during this extremely busy time in his career.
Overall, Spider Labyrinth is a sadly obscure film that will please any Italian Horror enthusiast and should be sought out. This review is of the Columbia Japan VHS edition, which is a real prize in my collection. Letterboxed and in English, this is a great release, though certainly a digital reworking would be very welcome. This same edition has found its way to the DVD-R market via Midnight Video and is perhaps your best avenue to see it.
Gore, nudity, fluids, mystery…everything Italian horror should be! Get caught in the Spider Labyrinth as quickly as possible.
A+ -David Zuzelo
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